I am sitting next to four and a half empty diet Coke bottles. An addict? Yes. That's me. I really ought to stop. STOP THE MADNESS! Oops, the caffeine got through. My parents kept the soda to a minimum when we were children. Occasionally we were given "soda milk" (my mom's creation... now I cringe at the thought. But ohhhhhhh how my brothers and I begged for the soda milk... or, better yet, "rootbeer milk" in particular). Anyway, by the time we were in junior high and we had access to our own soda, my parents switched tactics and began offering us diet Coke. They hoped we'd choose the easy-to-get-at-home soda and, in the process, save our teeth countless tons of sugar. Little did they know that I had become hooked to the caffeinated beverage, never to be let loose from its sugarless grasp! And so... here I sit, on my couch in my house, just like every other normal person in America. But I am surrounded by the evil plastic remnants of my worst habit... bottles! Bottles everywhere! Saaaaaaaave meeeeee!