<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/"><channel><title><![CDATA[The Girl Behind The Red Door]]></title><description><![CDATA[A writing life in progress]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/</link><image><url>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/favicon.png</url><title>The Girl Behind The Red Door</title><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/</link></image><generator>Ghost 1.24</generator><lastBuildDate>Sat, 18 Apr 2026 14:33:28 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/rss/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><ttl>60</ttl><item><title><![CDATA[Cracks in the Heart II]]></title><description><![CDATA["You know, that's one of the craziest, hardest parts about being a mom," I said. "We make these sweet, beautiful, helpless, perfect little people. And then, almost immediately, we start wanting two things at once. Two things that can't possibly both happen.]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2020/08/05/cracks-in-the-heart-2/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5f2a9572a692e400089f971c</guid><category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category><category><![CDATA[My Family]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 05 Aug 2020 11:50:31 GMT</pubDate><media:content url="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2020/08/IMG_1848-1.JPG" medium="image"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><img src="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2020/08/IMG_1848-1.JPG" alt="Cracks in the Heart II"><p>Cold, damp air poured through our open kitchen window as I finished making her lunch for barnehage. Sandwich, cottage cheese, raisins, crackers. I could hear rain pattering on the leaves of the tree just outside. From the other room, I heard her say...</p>
<p>&quot;Mom, can I tell you about a sad dream?&quot;</p>
<p>I went to rinse my fingers in the sink and called back...</p>
<p>&quot;Sure. Do you want to come in here and tell me?&quot;</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>I had so much left to do. So much to finish packing up. So much on my mind to prepare for work. Only twenty minutes to run her down the street and drop her off before running for my own bus. I almost didn't go to check on her. But then that mama instinct kicked in.</p>
<p>In recent weeks, she's suddenly become so much louder. Taller, more confident, more assertive about what matters to her. But now, in the gray light of an autumn morning, as her last year of barnehage begins, she sounded small again.</p>
<p>I walked into the other room to find her at the table, surrounded by papers covered in colorful drawings. Trees, Santas, presents, Easter eggs, hearts, diamonds, unicorns, candy canes, disco balls, hot dogs. Everything small she can draw crammed onto each sheet. She had turned her little self toward the kitchen, but remained in her chair, head lowered. She sniffed. Her chin wobbled.</p>
<p>&quot;Oh wow. It must have been a really sad dream,&quot; I said, and scooped her up into my arms. My five-year-old filly. All legs and arms, muscled from climbing, hiking, and running. Sometimes she confuses dreams with thoughts. In her world, dreams—good and bad—can happen anytime.</p>
<p>&quot;It was,&quot; she said. Then she pushed her face into the soft pocket of my neck and let the tears come.</p>
<p>We'd had our usual, rambunctious morning. Laughing and dancing around the house. Eating seconds at breakfast and singing &quot;Into the Unknown&quot; in the bathroom. Me nagging her to take her PJs out of the hamper and put them under her pillow instead. Her wondering aloud why she can't be a &quot;real princess.&quot; Too much to do and not enough time to do it in. But happy, plucky, silly. So, I didn't see this coming, whatever this was about to turn out to be.</p>
<p>(Mothers know. We are constantly surprised, but never show it. Don't flinch. Just let the wave come, the current pull. Figure it out along the way. Survive and protect at any cost.)</p>
<p>I walked her back into the kitchen, shut off the overhead light and held her tight. &quot;Tell me about it.&quot;</p>
<p>She pulled back so I could see her face. &quot;I had such a sad dream, Mommy. I dreamed that...&quot; Her mouth opened and no sound followed. Her big blue eyes were brimming with tears, searching my face, as though what she had to say was so terrible she couldn't find the words. &quot;I dreamed that-that-that... <em>I grew up!</em> And then-and then-<em>I couldn't be your child anymore</em>.&quot;</p>
<p>With that, she threw her arms back around my neck and sobbed harder. &quot;I don't want to grow up, Mommy! I don't want you to get old! I don't want to leave you. I want to be with you forever.&quot;</p>
<p>I held her. Spread my fingers wide across her back so she could feel all the warmth I could send. Kissed the whipped-cream-smoothness behind her ear, the fragrant part of her dark-honey-colored hair. My heart splintered for the millionth time since she was born.</p>
<p>I've written about these <a href="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2015/08/31/cracks-in-the-heart/">cracks in the heart</a> before. Ragged, unavoidable wounds of realization. The way they hurt and teach us something we have to learn. We breathe, we keep moving, we heal. Each milestone leaves a scar, so that we're a little smarter, stronger. That's just life. And it amplifies with motherhood.</p>
<p>Today I saw my daughter's heart do the same thing for the first time.</p>
<p>Oh, my love. My favorite person. My child. My child. Clinging to me like a vine, like a little koala. Unsure of the world.</p>
<p>&quot;I'm here,&quot; I whispered. &quot;I will always be right here. I am your home. And I feel this way too.&quot;</p>
<p>With lunch abandoned on the counter, with my bus hissing away from the distant stop into a veil of mist, I turned on Taylor Swift's &quot;Never Grow Up,&quot; and we danced in the kitchen. Rocked back and forth, tightly wound together. <em>Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up, just stay this little. It can stay this simple. Never grow up.</em></p>
<p>When it was over, we curled up on the couch and talked some more. She asked me questions through shuddery sighs. <em>Had I wanted to grow up? Had I wanted to leave my mommy? Was it hard to be a big person? Did she really have to get big and go away from me?</em></p>
<p>I told her the truth. That growing up is inevitable. It doesn't care whether we want to do it or not. The only thing we can control is whether we appreciate what we have when we have it along the way. We can spend our fleeting time in ways that are good for us and the people we love, make the most of it. And there's no need to rush anything.</p>
<p>&quot;You know, that's one of the craziest, hardest parts about being a mom,&quot; I said. &quot;We make these sweet, beautiful, helpless, perfect little people. And then, almost immediately, we start wanting two things at once. Two things that can't possibly both happen. Every day, every moment, when I look at you, I am wishing two things. One, that you'll keep on growing and building yourself into that brilliant, brainy, badass person you will be one day. And two, that you'll stop growing, <em>right now!</em> And stay on my lap, pressed so close to me that I can feel your little heart beating against mine, forever.&quot;</p>
<p>Her head leaned on my shoulder, her cheeks flushed with the exertion of listening and grasping to understand. She watched me closely as I spoke.</p>
<p>&quot;I'm proud of you.&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;Why?&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;Because even though growing up just happens, not everyone takes the time to be sensitive to it. That's what you're doing today. You're letting yourself feel this deep feeling. You're taking time to look at it closely. It's just like the stones and shells we found in Iceland. We examined them with a magnifying glass, remember? Stopping to feel these things like this isn't always fun. It sometimes means heartache and confusion. But you will understand feelings like this better if you take the time. You will learn how to handle them, how to breathe and treat yourself kindly. The best thing to do when you feel like this is to come and tell me, so we can share it. Then it's not as hard to swallow and overcome. Because we'll do it together.&quot;</p>
<p>Still the rain pattered on the pane. A car whooshed by in the street below.</p>
<p>After a minute or two... &quot;Can you read a book to me?&quot;</p>
<p>I let everything else go. No clock. No work. No world full of diseases and politics and selfishness and distance from home and uncertainty. Of course I could read a book to my child. Why would I ever do anything else?</p>
<p>She brought me <em>Det Gavmilde Treet</em>. <em>The Giving Tree</em> by Shel Silverstein. It's one of those books that has fascinated her for years. I read it to her in Norwegian at least once a week. Handing it to me now, crawling back into my lap, she said...</p>
<p>&quot;Do you know why I picked this one? Because the little boy loves the tree. And he gets bigger and bigger. And then he goes away.&quot;</p>
<p>&quot;And comes back to his tree in the end.&quot;</p>
<p>She nodded. Made herself as little as possible. And listened to me read.</p>
<p>&quot;Det var en gang et tre...&quot; Once there was a tree...</p>
<p>A tree like me. Doing her best not to hold her breath as the one she loves most grows and learns and leaves, taking with him her whole heart. Because that's the rhythm of this life, isn't it? I also walked away from the one who made me and loved me. The one who held me so close over and over. After a bee sting. After a basketball to the face on Christmas Day. After the open casket funeral of a dear friend who never even got to graduate high school. The day I moved into my college apartment. The day I got married. The day I moved to Norway.</p>
<p>I'm writing this at a cafe. About a block and a half away from the Hazelnut's barnehage, where I'm sure she's running and playing with all her little friends. Pigtails streaming behind her like flags. Eventually, I took her and dropped her off. It was tough, but she made it. Giving me a big, purposeful kiss and calling <em>See you later!</em> over her shoulder without looking back.</p>
<p>There will be so many more days like this, and yet, I'll never have this particular day again. Splinter and breathe and heal.</p>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Stairs]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>It's the first day of spring.</p>
<p>I woke too early this morning because we haven’t yet begun pulling the shades shut in our bedroom. We’re still calibrated to darkness. But the sun came, reflecting off the bright building across the street. I woke with an ache in my</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2020/03/21/scars/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5e750885a692e400089f96f4</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 21 Mar 2020 06:21:47 GMT</pubDate><media:content url="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2020/03/artisanalphoto-MJcb7ZhNeUA-unsplash-1.jpg" medium="image"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><img src="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2020/03/artisanalphoto-MJcb7ZhNeUA-unsplash-1.jpg" alt="Stairs"><p>It's the first day of spring.</p>
<p>I woke too early this morning because we haven’t yet begun pulling the shades shut in our bedroom. We’re still calibrated to darkness. But the sun came, reflecting off the bright building across the street. I woke with an ache in my shoulders and a furrow in my brow.</p>
<p>Norway is basically locked down. The government has taken drastic measures to combat the spread of the coronavirus pandemic. Like everyone else who can, I have been working from home this week.</p>
<p>Jonathan and I are taking shifts caring for (read: entertaining and educating) the Hazelnut to allow each of us to get work done. There’s also a lot of work to do, so that’s translated to our working side-by-side for hours after she has gone to bed, as well. And because my job entailed involvement in crisis communications for my company in the very early stages of all this, I’ve been stretching myself thin and working without many boundaries for almost two weeks now.</p>
<p>It’s getting to me.</p>
<p>I’m an optimist. I’m an extrovert. My whole life is geared toward outward enjoyment and I tend to take the long view on things. But when the globe shakes, I feel it too.</p>
<hr>
<p>In the summer of 2008, Jonathan and I bought a house in Livermore, California. We were a young couple in a pretty good spot. The economy had been booming along. We had stable jobs and made money. We had the average student loan debt, a couple of small credit cards. True, we didn’t have much of a down payment saved, but that was no trouble. Banks had been competing to give us a massive loan. We shopped for a while, found a lovely, too-big townhome close to our little downtown and made an offer. The sellers accepted. We spent an hour in a little real estate office that smelled like dusty mints and signed every page of a full ream of paper. And that was that.</p>
<p>Only one photo remains of that day. I deleted the rest.</p>
<p><img src="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2020/03/4DB478E7-09F9-4A19-82ED-EBE99F55CD46.JPG" alt="Stairs"></p>
<p>I remember celebrating with Mongolian BBQ. I remember watching Jonathan rumble up our rental driveway in the empty U-Haul. I remember the sound of the tape stretching out of the dispenser in my hands and around box after box of dishes and books. (We were only in our twenties! How had we acquired so much stuff?)</p>
<p>We had rented the truck a few days early because we were planning a long weekend away and wanted to pack as much as possible before we left. The weekend plan was to run our first half marathon at Disneyland. It was a hot August day already. I pressed our running shoes into a small suitcase and double checked our flight information. We needed to be at the airport early the next morning.</p>
<p>My phone rang.</p>
<p>It was the bank. (A big one. Too big to fail.) I knew the number. And the voice on the other side told me that they were terribly sorry, but the bank would not be funding our home loan after all. Fighting rising panic, I asked what we had done wrong. Had we forgotten something? What was the problem? Surely there was a way to fix it. <em>No, the bank will not be funding any loans. Click.</em></p>
<p>Jonathan and I sat in the middle of our living room and I wept in his arms. Neither of us understood. It would be a few weeks before the whole picture shook into place. A global financial crisis. A collapse. It would be a few years before it became apparent that the origin of the problem was a shady system of home loan programs exactly like the ones that had been competing for our loan.</p>
<p>We ran the half marathon that weekend and enjoyed Disneyland in a state of denial.</p>
<p>We returned and emptied the U-Haul mechanically. Jonathan rumbled it away and I played with our cats in an empty living room. The boxes remained piled in the dining room. We didn’t unpack most of them for months. Towers of boxes loomed in that corner through Christmas and New Year. We ate meals upstairs and didn’t talk about it.</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking about that time in our lives all week. Almost twelve years ago. It haunts me still.</p>
<p>Our realtor called us the following spring and told us how lucky we’d been. Most people were “underwater” in their homes, unable to pay mortgages with suddenly skyrocketing interest rates. Lots of people were being foreclosed. That could have been us. Now, banks “owned” too many foreclosed properties and were selling them for pennies on the dollar. Since we’d kept our jobs, we were considered the best possible risk. She could get us a good deal. Were we still interested in being homeowners?</p>
<p>The call made me sick for many reasons. First, we had desperately wanted to buy a home. She knew that. Like most Americans, we knew that home ownership was a pillar of the American Dream. Of growing up. Of having “made it.” Second, as she spoke, I could only hear the echo of the sales pitch she’d made in the time just before the downturn…</p>
<p><em>You’re so lucky! House prices are going up, up, up. Getting in soon is the only way to ensure financial stability. Real estate is the best possible investment. No down payment? No problem. Every bank has a special program to get you into your first home. Look at this history of mortgage rates. It will be fixed for two years and then adjustable, but you’ll want that flexibility anyway. Rates are just as likely to go down as they are to go up. You’ll want options. And you’ll be making more money by that point, too, so it might be time to trade up. Move onto a bigger place. Who knows? Maybe by then you’ll have a couple of little ones…</em></p>
<p>Looking at the boxes in my dining room, I told her no thanks and hung up fast. She repulsed me. Desperate to pull us into something we couldn’t get out of no matter the cost to us. Callous and greedy.</p>
<p>(It would take me years to get out of my own head on this one and realize that, in the weeks following the market collapse, many real estate agents went bankrupt. She had a family to feed too. She wasn’t cruel; she was just another product of a desperate time.)</p>
<p>We watched house prizes descend to laughably low places. Suddenly, we could afford a higher down payment on a larger place. In California. Unheard of! There was a neighborhood we liked in Dublin, a brand new development before the crisis. The street was called Brannigan. We said to each other, if a nice property opens up there for this amount of money, we’ll call another realtor and go see it. Just to see. <em>It’s not like we’re ever going to leave Livermore. Quit our stable jobs? Impossible.</em></p>
<p>One late spring day, we drove out to the beautiful, brand new neighborhood and met a new agent. He ushered us into a gorgeous four-storey townhome; 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1,400 square feet. The carpets were sparkling clean. Immaculate. The staging was perfect. Sleek furniture. A chess set mid-match. A home theater with a gabled roof. Views of an emerald field out every front window.</p>
<p>I pictured a library built into the loft. A soft chair where I could drape myself and read, read, read. Jonathan pictured building out a shop in the two-car garage.</p>
<p>As we walked out, the agent turned and said, “This same floorplan is available in another unit around the corner. It’s about $125,000 cheaper. Just got the call this morning, so it’s not listed yet. It’s nowhere near as nice, but with the money you save, you could do it up your way. Build in some bookshelves.”</p>
<p>He got me. We agreed to walk around the corner to see it.</p>
<p>From the walkway, the rowhouse was identical. Inward facing, so no emerald views. But otherwise, the same. I got excited. The agent turned his key in the lock. A dog began to bark from inside. The man paused.</p>
<p>“That’s strange. I was told no one was here.”</p>
<p>Against common sense, he pushed his head into the house. “Oh.” That was all he said. He may have actually dropped the door handle out of pure shock. The door swung open.</p>
<p>Our eyes adjusted to the darkness in the home and we could see that the barking dog was contained by child gates on the first staircase. The animal was running up and down those stairs, frantic. He’d worn a path in the spotted carpet. The stench of urine and feces smacked us hard. Horrified, my eyes darted from wall to wall. There was nothing in this house. Not a picture on the wall. Not a stick of furniture. Not a chess piece. I looked back at the dog, alternating between snarls and whimpers. How long had he been there? Alone in the dark?</p>
<p>I don’t remember how we tore ourselves away. I think about that dog all the time.</p>
<hr>
<p>Today, I put my slippers on and walked out of our bedroom and into the living room. Our Oslo apartment is 60 square meters (645 square feet). It’s a compact square that contains two small bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a living space where we also keep a dining table. We bought it in 2016. As the real estate market in Oslo was going up and up and up. And real estate felt like the only sound investment for the future. Buyers don’t have agents in Norway, so no one talked us into anything.</p>
<p>Out the windows, I couldn’t see a soul on the street. Just blue sky.</p>
<p>I feel stressed. Stretched thin. Concerned. Wary. Tense. I have been good about finding ways to jumpstart my own creativity, but they all connect to work. (I love my job. I love my company. I miss going to the office every day.) And my daughter is the delight of my life, but also needs more than I can give her more often than I want to admit these days.</p>
<p>Just now, as I was writing this, she blew up a balloon until it swelled and popped loudly right in her alarmed little face. I wasn’t prepared for the <em>bang!</em> and jumped and said <em>Holy shit</em>. Almost as loud as the balloon had been. When she burst into tears in her fathers arms, I knew I’d stepped wrong. But that’s where I am this morning. Tick, tick, tick.</p>
<p>I’m an optimist. I’m an extrovert. I am trying to remind myself… right now, in this writing… that the heartbreak of 2008/2009 gave rise to something good for us.</p>
<p>Maybe it was the act of removing all our possessions from our direct line of sight, proving how little we actually needed on any given day. Maybe it was seeing behind the curtain of the American Dream. Maybe it was the fact that the crisis was global, leveling the playing field a bit so that we could see possibilities beyond First Street, professional liability insurance, and Lawrence Livermore National Lab.</p>
<p>But Jonathan and I are in Norway today in large part because we were not able to buy that first home.</p>
<p>While many of our friends struggled to stay afloat in those recession years, we remained nimble and managed to travel in Europe and around the world. When Jonathan got a job offer in Oslo, it felt eminently possible to just go. So I would have to give up my job and income for a while. How bad could it be? All we had to do was make rent and buy food for two.</p>
<p>Turned out to be a remarkably good choice.</p>
<p>The Hazelnut woke early this morning. When I heard her door open, I quickly crawled back into my bed and waited. She crawled in with us and just snuggled. Quietly. Breathing with me. Warm.</p>
<p>I don’t know how this pandemic crisis will shake out. The financial markets are in chaos. The Norwegian crown has never been weaker. We're isolated from everyone we know. Our planned trip to California (and Disneyland) over Easter has been postponed indefinitely. We have no idea what's going to come next.</p>
<p>For now, I need to do a few things every day. Among them, remind myself to be grateful for our health, cherish the quiet times with my kid and try to be more present with her whenever possible, and care for my own psychological health so that I can be a reliable resource of love, patience, and imagination for my family. We’ll get through this together. We’ve got our home. Complete with a built-in library and a soft couch to flop onto and read, read, read. And an espresso machine. Plus, we’re privileged enough to be able stay in while we work. So, if a pandemic has to come and lock us down, we’re in just the right spot to weather it.</p>
<p>And I wonder where we'll all be in eleven years... Keep climbing those stairs, friends. We’re apart but not really alone.</p>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Summerflies]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>Somehow she's four years old. She wants her hair long and curly. She prefers dresses to anything else. She likes to sniff my neck and say, &quot;Mom, you smell like roses!&quot; Even when that can't be true. Because we're both sweaty and covered in chalk from the climbing</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2019/08/05/summerflies/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5d47ee5d13fa1600090ca5fb</guid><category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 05 Aug 2019 09:43:44 GMT</pubDate><media:content url="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2019/08/IMG_2629--1--2.jpg" medium="image"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><img src="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2019/08/IMG_2629--1--2.jpg" alt="Summerflies"><p>Somehow she's four years old. She wants her hair long and curly. She prefers dresses to anything else. She likes to sniff my neck and say, &quot;Mom, you smell like roses!&quot; Even when that can't be true. Because we're both sweaty and covered in chalk from the climbing gym.</p>
<p>She is powerful. Her little biceps go taut as she swings from rope to rope like Tarzan. Who she swears must be a girl because of his long hair. Okay, so Tarzan can be a girl. Who cares? Tarzan the ape woman.</p>
<p>When she wakes in the morning, she's all smiles. Ready to play. Ready to giggle. She rides her bike fast, pumping with strong legs on the uphill and careening down the downhill.</p>
<p>She took a major crash the other day. I wasn't there, but I found her at home with bandages on every knee and elbow. Her sweet little Holstein cow patterned helmet had a scary looking scrape-crunch on the front, bad enough to retire it and get her a new one. This time she picked a helmet that looks like outerspace: black and sparkly and covered with colorful planets.</p>
<p>At any given moment she might break into song. Usually <em>Let it Go</em>. She likes to stand in the center of the room while our Sonos sings backup. She swings her arms around and pretends to shoot and spray ice from her hands, creating a spectacular frozen palace.</p>
<p>The word most people use after spending a little time with her is <em>intent</em>. When she wants to figure something out, she narrows in on it and thinks. She can spend a solid forty-five minutes sitting at the table playing with <em>perler</em> or watercolors. When she's up on the wall, she'll hang by one hand, grope for chalk with the other, and consider the moves ahead of her like a climber three or four times her age.</p>
<p>And she asks questions. A million questions. Peppered through conversations, mealtimes, storytimes.</p>
<p>&quot;What does 'society' mean?&quot;<br>
&quot;Why did Disney die?&quot;<br>
&quot;Why do frogs have long tongues?&quot;<br>
&quot;How far is the moon?&quot;<br>
&quot;When is my birthday? Why is your birthday first?&quot;<br>
&quot;Why do some people have big tummies?&quot;<br>
&quot;Why do people drop garbage on the ground?&quot;<br>
&quot;What is a 'bad guy?'&quot;<br>
&quot;How are babies made?&quot;<br>
&quot;What does camouflage mean?&quot;<br>
&quot;Where do summerflies sleep?&quot;</p>
<p>When she uses the word <em>summerfly</em>, I smile. It's Norwenglish, a combo of <em>sommerfugle</em> and <em>butterfly</em>. She's fluent in both languages, but sometimes these delightful mash-ups happen. Too soon, she'll realize and stop making this error. She'll perfect herself. I mourn that day already.</p>
<p>Today, she started at a new barnehage. There was no real way around it. Her little friends--made over the last three years--have also scattered to other barnehages around the neighborhood. Heading into our first transitional day, we were both a little nervous. We talked about how we felt inside. A little tight, a little sad, a little flutter. Like having summerflies in our tummies.</p>
<p>Her new class at barnehage is called <em>Sommerfuglen</em>.</p>
<p>When we walked into her new classroom, a teacher and a little girl we've met in the neighborhood were sitting on the bench inside the door. Waiting for us. They jumped up and welcomed the Hazelnut. The other little girl took her hand and showed her where to put her backpack, where to run off and start playing with trains.</p>
<p>There was barely a pause. A big, blue-eyed glance over her shoulder to see me waiting. Her long, dark blond hair has a hint of strawberry to it. Her porcelain cheeks are still my favorite feature.</p>
<p>It's been a while since I wrote about motherhood here. What a tremendous task. A mammoth task. But that's what motherhood feels like to me a lot of the time. One overwhelming, blurry run of joy and fear and brilliance and ignorance and triumph and failure. When I'm lucky enough to catch my breath and focus on any little piece of it in the light, though, the beauty takes my breath away.</p>
<p>A summerfly's wings are covered in powdered scales that appear from a distance as swirling patterns of color. The colors are there to reflect or absorb heat, to identify friends, to attract mates, to confound predators, to pick up pollen and spread it to the surrounding ecosystem. To make the world a more beautiful place.</p>
<p>My little summerfly took a big step today. She's up for it. Ready to be a big kid, ready to figure out even more of the world. I hope I'm up for answering more of her questions. I hope I can encourage her to continue to be brave and creative, keep her safe on the big walls. I hope I can continue to be chill enough to let her crash her bike, cry on my shoulder, dust herself off, and pedal away again. Farther this time.</p>
<p>As far as her brilliantly patterned wings will carry her.</p>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Holding Us Together: The Power of the Essay]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>On Sundays when I don't climb, I read. It's the least I can do for my mind. To sit outside a café, turn my face to the sun, and turn my mind to the epiphanies of others.</p>
<p>Today I selected a volume of essays because essayism continues to be my</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2019/04/14/holding-us-together/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5cb3095a13fa1600090ca5e6</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 14 Apr 2019 19:31:40 GMT</pubDate><media:content url="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2019/04/vadim-sherbakov-36-unsplash-1.jpg" medium="image"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><img src="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2019/04/vadim-sherbakov-36-unsplash-1.jpg" alt="Holding Us Together: The Power of the Essay"><p>On Sundays when I don't climb, I read. It's the least I can do for my mind. To sit outside a café, turn my face to the sun, and turn my mind to the epiphanies of others.</p>
<p>Today I selected a volume of essays because essayism continues to be my favorite genre and form.</p>
<p>Essays have underscored my life. They run to a rhythm that resonates with my own modes of thought and expression. My MFA thesis at Lesley University, <em>Meditating on the Cold Light (2012)</em>, was a series of personal essays on my first year of life abroad. My MA thesis at the University of Oslo was an examination of <em>The Metaphysics of Ecofeminist Essayism (2017)</em>, in which I studied the perspectives and contributions of Terry Tempest Williams and Rebecca Solnit. I am endlessly fascinated by the way humans make sense of the world, holding bits and pieces of history and personal experience up to the light and sensitively stringing them together. That's essayism. Turning bread crumbs in the woods into a trail home.</p>
<p>This is why I read them. This is why I write them.</p>
<p><em>The Best American Essays of 2018</em> opens with a foreword by Editor Robert Atwan considering the foundations of essayism built in the time of Montaigne (1533-1592). One of the preeminent philosophers of the French Renaissance, Montaigne retired from public life in his late thirties, cloistered himself on his family's estate, and spent the rest of his life building out a library, thinking and writing. Atwan notes:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Montaigne's was a mind filled with doubt. His genius evolved with his writing and it essentially consisted in making doubt a source of creativity, not an intellectual liability or a spiritual affliction.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Doubt is the wellspring of the essay. We write to know what we think, to know how we think, to uncover our own mistakes, to clarify our logic and give space to our worthy emotions. The result is something that seems organic, wild even. A jungle of tightly woven trains of thought. But pliable, penetrable, parsible. Inviting.</p>
<p>The trick is to realize from the beginning that the narrative arc adheres entirely to the essayist's perspective. In the best essays, the fragments of life and information highlighted by the essayist seem eclectic, almost random, dissonant. It is a treasure hunt, and the reader must collect the pieces as she goes along, faithfully, trying to pick up the resonance she knows will be there by the end. A resonance discovered and documented by the first one though this terrain: the essayist.</p>
<p>Atwan's foreword to the 2018 collection is an essay that begins inside the Château de Montaigne. The author moves briefly through the history of that estate--purchased by the famed essayist's great-grandfather in 1477; inherited by Montaigne in 1571--to Montaigne's writing process: always in motion, pacing and dictating his thoughts to someone else. To doubt as a creative fount. To Montaigne's allegiance to skepticism and <em>ataraxia</em>, &quot;a mental state of tranquility and imperturbability&quot; achieved by the pure suspension of judgment required to allow the clash of conflicting opinions in one's own brain and equally exploring them both or all.</p>
<p>Atwan jumps then to Emerson, a more recent skeptic, whose skepticism manifested in a more optimistic view of the world and one's own agency to live a good life. For Emerson, too, the essay was about exploring his own thoughts and offering a possible logic to make sense of a world where &quot;knaves win in every political struggle... and the march of civilization is a train of felonies, yet, general ends are somehow answered.&quot; Here, Atwan turns to the major contradiction of skepticism: that &quot;to say that knowledge consists of knowing that nothing can be known for certain is to express certainty.&quot;</p>
<p>I begin to pick up the resonance. I am asking one of the same questions that occurred to Atwan as he wrote his foreword. <strong>What does this contradiction mean for the essay as a form?</strong></p>
<p>His suggested answer:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>What to me is most important from a literary and philosophical point of view is the extent to which Montaigne created the essay as an exercise in self-scrutiny and free inquiry... The essays were forms of expression new to the world and for centuries they characterized what it is like to possess an open and inquiring mind.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>At the café this morning, I sat among a crowd of Norwegians attuned to the sun. Cigarette smoke wafted over the group and I didn't mind at all. Though I've never smoked, the subtle taste of it on the breeze gives me a moment with Hemingway or Joan Didion. My subconscious slices the the adverbs from my internal monologue. My sweater is red. Cappuccino foam is white in the white cup.</p>
<p>Everything is connected. Everything is a pattern, emblematic of something larger and something smaller existing simultaneously in the infinite universe. Though it is not present in Atwan's essay, I feel the word <em>fractal</em> reverberate in my brain.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Fractal: a curve or geometrical figure, each part of which has the same statistical character as the whole.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I don't yet understand why Robert Atwan opened <em>Best American Essays of 2018</em> with an exploration of Montaigne and skepticism. Why he chose to highlight the definition of the essay as an emblem and practice of an open mind. But I know these things are connected, not only to each other, but to the context. The essays that will comprise this collection are variations on a theme that revealed itself to Atwan as he read through the collection: That we need more open and free minds in this world.</p>
<p>Because, &quot;if we don't continually test even our firmest beliefs and opinions, they will calcify into unquestioned dogma.&quot;</p>
<p>Calcification is the enemy of an open and inquiring mind. It accumulates and blocks and obstructs. It kills. And it is a danger at both ends of the political spectrum. As Atwan points out:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>In an increasingly polarized society, skeptical free inquiry can easily lead to slippery slope conclusions: you contemplate X or Y or Z, and the next thing you know, you're a bigot, a communist, or a Nazi. For a moment you pace back and forth in your room essaying, and suddenly the reputed tolerant are no longer tolerating.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This twist in Atwan's narrative is about the way that constricted thought processes trigger the human tendency to quickly categorize others based on behavior and beliefs, locking them into a broad definition. Because that's easier than accepting the fluidity of reality. Less fatiguing than knowing these categories are a human construct. That difference and even division begin at an atomic level.</p>
<p>Before departing for the café this morning, I wasted roughly fifteen minutes on social media, hopping between Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter. (I've recently abandoned Facebook, joining <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2018/09/05/facebook-exodus-44-percent-of-americans-age-18-29-have-deleted-app.html">a mass exodus of other disenchanted 20-and-30-somethings</a> who want our privacy back). Scrolling through my Twitter feed, I saw this:</p>
<p><img src="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2019/04/Screenshot-2019-04-14-15.19.53.png" alt="Holding Us Together: The Power of the Essay"></p>
<p>Another thing I find fascinating: That a loose web of incredibly small particles makes my cappuccino foam, my red sweater, <em>The Best American Essays of 2018</em>, my husband and daughter, me. And the universe is infinitely expanding. Is it any wonder that the world sometimes feels it's about the fly apart at the seams?</p>
<p>The human mind is an incredible thing. When we try, when we really focus and train to achieve it, the human mind can accommodate any number of massive contradictions. <a href="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2017/02/12/of-course-i-marched-on/">As I wrote after the Women's March in 2017</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I can say, 'I understand' without saying, 'I agree.' And I can say, 'I disagree,' without saying, 'I don't understand.' We're too quick in our speed-dating, Snapchat, 140-character culture to divide along these lines. These things shouldn't be mutually exclusive. Understanding comes with intelligence and experience. It does not require agreement. And it does keep the conversation going. Open mindedness is not gullibility, but we often act like it is. Easier to shun the thing we don't understand than to sit down and ask questions about it. Discernment takes too long.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>We need the essay as a form and we need it to rise to the occasion of this epoch. Because we're feeling our basic division in our very bones. Because tempers are running shorter than attention spans. Because the universe is expanding <em>and</em> it is infinite.</p>
<p>I can't be sure this is what Atwan wanted me to feel as I turned the final page of his foreword, but I guarantee that he wanted me to feel something. That's essayism. It's a genre that is meant to move you. Not the way fiction does, to laughter or tears. But to action. In my UiO thesis, I tried to discover the way ecofeminist essayists used different techniques to pass the energy of their ideas from the void through the page to their readers to be turned into actions. Not sure I pulled it off, but it was a grand attempt.</p>
<p>After all, it must be true. How else can you explain the way Atwan's essay led to this one? The first long-form personal content I've made public in years. That's either magic or metaphysics. That's the power of the essay.</p>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Fast forward]]></title><description><![CDATA[It's April, which means Poem-A-Day. These days I write lots and lots of long-form texts. I miss poetry. So, PAD it is.]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2019/04/01/fast-forward/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5ca2609c73af150009aa65e2</guid><category><![CDATA[Poetry]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 01 Apr 2019 19:33:19 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>Yesterday, we lost an hour. Which reminded me that I've lost far more time than that in the last year and a half. Life has been good, if fast and absolutely full. Since my last post, I've traded a dream job (teaching American and British literature at the University of Oslo) for another kind of rewarding challenge: writing full time for a fast-growing industrial technology company in Oslo. I've finished out a successful two-year term as Chair of Democrats Abroad Norway, stepping down to spend my time and energy on the aforementioned job challenge and with my sweet family. Which reminds me: the Hazelnut is nearly four years old. Motherhood has morphed completely in the last couple of years, too. At some point, I will write more about all these things.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I decided to stop messing around and kickstart this wonderful old blog again. With poetry. It's April, which means Poem-A-Day. Something I've never been able to crack. But these days I write lots and lots and lots of long-form texts, often more creative than you'd guess given the industries we serve, but still, long and informative. I miss poetry. So, PAD it is.</p>
<p>After the kid was in bed, and after J picked up his laptop (oh yes, he started a new job within the last 18 months, too), I decided to go for a walk to chase the light in the sky. It hasn't been a terrible winter by any standards, but the sadness of January and February got to me the same way they always do. I desperately need this sunshine and will brave the near-freezing evening temps to stick with it. Here's my PAD 01:</p>
<h2 id="latelight">late light</h2>
<p>an excess of darkness<br>
poured from the sky<br>
and muddled the river<br>
murking it black<br>
so that it tumbled between<br>
its bare banks<br>
silent and devoid of the light<br>
i expect to be reflected there.</p>
<p>the sky is milky white<br>
and wretchedly cold, bare<br>
as the branches that reach<br>
and scratch against it<br>
shivering and aware, caught<br>
wishing to be clothed.</p>
<p>i am not the only sinner<br>
out tonight, soles crunching loudly<br>
over the last of the gravel.<br>
we know our trespasses<br>
this late light sky and i.</p>
<p>water rolls and spills and falls<br>
smooth and cold, soundless<br>
as black silk pulled back<br>
over a waiting hip and thigh.</p>
<p>blood rises<br>
and my eyes follow<br>
the chilled wind up to find<br>
the slivered green beginnings<br>
of Spring so small and tight<br>
you might miss them<br>
in this late light, poised<br>
and still, awaiting the inevitable.</p>
<p>I sincerely hope I'll be back tomorrow. Lots of luck to my fellow PAD participants! I know I need it most of all.</p>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[A Quiet Sunday]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>Carrots and celery are chopped and piled high in blue stone bowls. Onion grows clear and fragrant over chicken breasts in the slow cooker. I slice a small brick of yellow butter into a red mixing bowl. Each slice lands deep in the white mound of flour, baking powder, and</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2017/10/01/a-quiet-sunday/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4ba44c9670bb0008738dd3</guid><category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category><category><![CDATA[My Family]]></category><category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 01 Oct 2017 19:44:00 GMT</pubDate><media:content url="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2018/07/IMG_9169-thumb-320x320-4045-1.jpg" medium="image"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><img src="https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/content/images/2018/07/IMG_9169-thumb-320x320-4045-1.jpg" alt="A Quiet Sunday"><p>Carrots and celery are chopped and piled high in blue stone bowls. Onion grows clear and fragrant over chicken breasts in the slow cooker. I slice a small brick of yellow butter into a red mixing bowl. Each slice lands deep in the white mound of flour, baking powder, and salt. I lift the pastry cutter and go to work until it creaks in my hand.</p>
<p>I've used the cutter so often over the last thirteen years that the handle has begun to loosen. I must hold my thumb firmly over one side to keep it together. I can't bring myself to replace it.</p>
<p>A gentle mist has replaced the gentle autumn sunshine outside, collecting on the yellow leaves of the sycamore. Our wall heaters have begun to turn on during the day.</p>
<p>It is Sunday, and my mind is whirling around all the things to be done during the coming week. Presentations to create. Handouts to write and post. What do I want my students to consider when they read Zitkala-Sa's &quot;The Soft-Hearted Sioux&quot;? Did I really schedule a vet appointment for Disney and a doctor's appointment for Little P on the same day? Social media promotions to organize. Travel planning for a quick høstferie trip next week. Also an insurance claim to follow up on. Baby gifts to deliver to a friend. Updates to my CV and my website. Some contract work. Work for Democrats Abroad. Meetings with colleagues. Coffees with friends. And wifehood. And motherhood.</p>
<p>I scatter flour across my countertop. Powdered handprints appear on my red apron. The lid of the slow cooker stutters lightly against the rising steam of the soup, then stops. Jonathan has taken our daughter on a climbing date. I am alone in the house with my thoughts and the patter of rain on the window.</p>
<p>It is dark enough for candles now. The scent of the matchhead always strikes some happy part of my brain, reminds me of lighting Duraflame logs in my family's fireplace as a child. My Dad let us take turns doing that grown-up job. I remember kneeling at the tile hearth and double checking that the flue had been pulled open. The brown paper packaging on the logs had yellow arrows at each end: Light Here. I watched the flames crawl up the surface, devouring those words, and curling the paper into oblivion as they went. Then I put the matches back where they belonged.</p>
<p>Today, Jonathan and I hung some artwork in the kitchen. His Grandma Camp cross-stitched these changing seasons almost 70 years ago. They hung in her kitchen, too. We were lucky to be able to visit her one last time this summer. She and Little P played quietly together, passing a handful of dominoes back and forth, noting the number of dots on each one. When Little P found a domino without any dots, she handed it to Grandma and said, &quot;It's broken,&quot; which made everyone laugh. A few days later, Grandma passed away.</p>
<p>I knead the biscuit dough. Fold and push. Fold and push. Pat and shape and sweep some flour and fold and push. Fold and push. Cut. Stacked. Wrapped. Stashed in the fridge. And I turn to see these little framed heirlooms--the work of Grandma's hands--in the fading light. It's World Quaker Day, and I'm spending my silence thinking of all the grandparents I've known and loved, all the legacies I've inherited, all the things I need to tend and pass along to my own daughter.</p>
<p>Friends, I haven't written for myself in a while.</p>
<p>I've written a lot in the last year. Tens of thousands of words. Not only my master's thesis at the university, but magazine articles and blog pieces and ghost writing and profiles and stuff for teaching. I've enjoyed it and hope the work keeps coming. But I have missed writing things based on my own simple pleasures, my own lessons learned. I think it's time to return to that. And isn't that the beautiful thing about seasons? They come and go and then come again.</p>
<p>Time to stir the soup in the pot. I hope to find more quiet, nourishing moments like this soon.</p>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Taking Action After the Women's March]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><div>
 <p>
  If you can talk with crowds and keep your
virtue,
  <br>
   Or walk with Kings--nor lose the
common touch,
   <br>
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt
you,
    <br>
     If all men count with you, but
none too much;
    <br>
   <br>
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  --If, Rudyard Kipling
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  <span>
   <span>
    I am a candidate for Chair and Vice Chair of</span></span></p></div></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2017/02/12/of-course-i-marched-on/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8fc</guid><category><![CDATA[Feminism]]></category><category><![CDATA[Norway]]></category><category><![CDATA[Patriotism]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 12 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><div>
 <p>
  If you can talk with crowds and keep your
virtue,
  <br>
   Or walk with Kings--nor lose the
common touch,
   <br>
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt
you,
    <br>
     If all men count with you, but
none too much;
    <br>
   <br>
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  --If, Rudyard Kipling
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  <span>
   <span>
    I am a candidate for Chair and Vice Chair of
    <a href="http://www.democratsabroad.org/no">
     Democrats Abroad Norway
    </a>
    . If you're an American expat in Norway, I ask for your consideration and vote. You can
    <a href="http://www.democratsabroad.org/jlugowe/presentation_of_candidates_for_vice_chair">
     read my candidate statement here
    </a>
    . If you
    <a href="http://www.democratsabroad.org/join">
     register with Democrats Abroad
    </a>
    by 15 February 2017, you'll receive a ballot via email. Thank you!
   </span>
  </span>
 </p>
 <img alt="16114682_10154824121865450_5014815111488956610_n.jpg" height="180" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/16114682_10154824121865450_5014815111488956610_n-thumb-320x180-4042.jpg" width="320">
 <p>
  Last month, millions of women and
our allies--people who love, respect and value us--rallied and marched in
cities and towns around the world. Ask any one woman why she participated in the Women's March and
you'll get a unique answer. We didn't agree on everything, but we do agree on
this feminist principle:
  <strong>
   Women's rights are human rights.
  </strong>
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  Of course I showed up on a Saturday
afternoon to remind the world that this is important. Of course I brought my
husband and daughter. Of course I marched.
 </p>
 <p>
  And, of course, there has been blow-back.
 </p>
 <p>
  I understand a lot of it. People are
indignant because they see this movement--the largest single populist
demonstration in U.S. history--as a threat to the new President's agenda, which they support.
People are offended by women dressed as vaginas or wearing "pussy
hats." People are upset that pro-lifers were ostracized in some cities.
And people are skeptical about what such a nebulous event accomplished or can
accomplish in the long run.
 </p>
 <p>
  I understand.
 </p>
 <p>
  This is part of my political philosophy
that I want to wear right out in front:
 </p>
 <p>
  <strong>
   I can say, "I understand"
without saying, "I agree." And I can say, "I disagree,"
without saying, "I don't understand."
  </strong>
 </p>
 <p>
  We're too quick in our speed-dating, Snapchat, 140-character culture to divide along these lines.
These things shouldn't be mutually exclusive. Understanding comes with intelligence and
experience. It does not require agreement. And it does keep the conversation
going. Open mindedness is not gullibility, but we often act like it is. Easier
to shun the thing we don't understand than to sit down and ask questions about
it. Discernment takes too long.
 </p>
 <p>
  A friend of mine is a national park
ranger. Garrett and I, in his words, "disagree fairly extensively."
But
  <a href="http://rangerradke.blogspot.no/2017/01/the-inauguration-of-president-donald.html?spref=fb">
   his post on Inauguration Weekend and the Women's March
  </a>
  is
important to me. Not because we agree. We don't. But because his perspective is
unique, and his sincere love of history and respect for our government are admirable.
He makes good points in this piece about the procedures around peaceful
protests and the way security works, how demonstrators step on their cause when they fail to clean up after themselves, etc. And he reminds us of
history's long view on both the march and the presidential campaign that gave
rise to it. Best of all, Garrett presents his perspective in a way that doesn't
entrench him on a specific side, and he doesn't close off debate by rejecting
opposition. On the contrary.
 </p>
 <p>
  He is trying to be understood. He is
trying to understand.
 </p>
</div>
<p>
 <br>
</p>
<p>
 </p><p>
  I believe the Women's March was a
beautiful, proud moment of solidarity.
  <em>
   At the same time
  </em>
  , I cede all
Garrett's points about respect for officers of the law and posted road closures
and cleaning up.
  <em>
   At the same time
  </em>
  , I disagree with him about what
the march accomplished.
  <em>
   At the same time
  </em>
  , I understand that the
vague "mission" of the march could make people roll their eyes or
throw up their hands. I stand strongly enough in my beliefs to listen to people who don't agree with me and to push forward with an open mind, ready
to engage in a real dialogue.
 </p>
 <p>
  I marched on that January Saturday knowing that
President Trump was never going to be swayed by millions of women marching.
 </p>
 <p>
  Unlike many of the marchers, I accept
him as my president. I'm not happy about it, but I accept some responsibility
for his being there. Only 26% of American citizens voted for the man, but he
won. And all I did was donate money to the DNC, post scathing comments on
social media, preach to the liberal choir, and try to avoid shouting matches
with my conservative relatives. I could have done more, and next time I will.
Meanwhile, I will respect the office of the president and our long-standing
tradition of the peaceful transition of power.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  I will do this, because it's what I asked those on the other side to do while Barack Obama was our president. Even if many of them did not behave thus, my principles stand, and I must abide by them.
 </p>
 <p>
  I will resist the president's efforts to dial
back the hands of progress any way I peacefully and meaningfully can. Not only
on behalf of women, but on behalf of all vulnerable parties. That's feminism.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  <a href="https://medium.com/@audreycamp/de-conflating-feminism-thoughts-on-the-passing-of-phyllis-schlafly-88639d4939d3#.b7k3nmhbb">
   Lots of people have a difficult time with the moniker of feminism.
  </a>
 </p>
 <p>
  It's been co-opted too many times, both
by angry groups of "man-bashing" women and by angry groups of
threatened men in power. Feminism in the U.S. has become synonymous with its
most negative context, and the majority of people seem to forget that the word
and the mindset behind it are positive: the belief in and pursuit of
human equality. The real success of the Women's March was that so many
women of differing backgrounds and differing motivations and differing
political priorities showed up at the same time and enjoyed one another's
company.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  I like
  <a href="https://mic.com/articles/166720/blm-co-founder-protesting-isnt-about-who-can-be-the-most-radical-its-about-winning#.tLT1go8D2">
   the way Alicia Garza, cofounder of #BlackLivesMatter, puts it
  </a>
  :
 </p>
 <p>
  "I decided to challenge myself to be a part of something that isn't perfect, that doesn't articulate my values the way that I do and still show up, clear in my commitment, open and vulnerable to people who are new in their activism. I can be critical of white women and, at the same time, seek out and join with women, white and of color, who are awakening to the fact that all lives do not, in fact, matter, without compromising my dignity, my safety and radical politics."
 </p>
 <p>
  We found common ground. This is victory. Even before real, more
focused work begins on the kaleidoscopic fronts empowered marchers might move
toward after the fact.
 </p>
 <p>
 </p>
 <p>
  This definition of success is
unsatisfying to some. Much like the Occupy Wall Street movement (of which I was
critical), the platform and agenda of the Women's March seems too broad and
vague. How do we calculate its success? How can we tell if it worked?
 </p>
 <p>
  Measurable success for feminism as a
world view is different. It begins with nearly 1% of the U.S. population
finding terms--broad, vague terms about women's rights and solidarity--under
which they can come together. And it continues in every smaller group that
springs out of it, every individual engagement with our political process that
goes beyond the easy vote. But these successes will be much harder to quantify.
You will not get a clear agenda from the Women's March, because there could not
be one while still allowing us all to move as one. However, I do believe you will now see clear actions. Possibly millions of them. From every corner.
 </p>
 <p>
  I felt dismay and fear and
disenchantment after Trump's election. My hope for positive change was
reinvigorated by the march, and I can't be the only one. How do you
measure the rising hope of more than 3 million American citizens? In my world, you can measure it by the proverbial fire in my belly. Next time, I will not be caught watching.
 </p>
 <p>
  Now, I
  <em>
   can
  </em>
  argue with
those who object to the timing of the march. I
  <em>
   can
  </em>
  argue with
those who object to pussy hats and the "crude" signage held aloft in
the crowd. I
  <em>
   can
  </em>
  argue with those who object to
"filthy" celebrity tirades. And I
  <em>
   can
  </em>
  argue with
those who think this was a "pro-abortion" march. But I can't do it
here, because each of those objections requires a complex response. Perhaps
we'll have a chance to talk about these other things sometime.
 </p>
 <p>
  I am proud to have had friends marching
in Seattle, San Francisco, Oakland, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Denver, Austin, D.C.,
Boston, New York, Calgary, London, Paris, and Sydney, to say nothing of my
wonderful network here in Oslo. We showed up for our own reasons, but also just
to stand side by side. Different but together. The way society works when it
works.
 </p>
 <p>
  Here is a selection from the official
mission statement on the Women's March website:
 </p>
 <p>
  "In the spirit of democracy and
honoring the champions of human rights, dignity, and justice who have come
before us, we join in diversity to show our presence in numbers too great to
ignore. The Women's March on Washington will send a bold message to our new
government on their first day in office, and to the world that women's rights
are human rights. We stand together, recognizing that defending the most
marginalized among us is defending all of us."
 </p>
 <p>
  I marched with my fellow women and our allies to demonstrate for
kindness and decency, to advocate for "the least of these." Of course I
marched.
 </p>
 <p>
  And now I'm going to act. This month, I'm running in an election of my own. I am a candidate for Chair/Vice Chair for Democrats Abroad Norway, my small bid to help affect the culture of my party. I have also joined multiple smaller action groups to oppose the worst of the President's policies and appointments. Next time, I won't be caught watching. Please wish me luck, friends. I'm excited about the next chapter.
 </p>
<p></p></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Politics of Prefiguration]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><div>
 <iframe allowfullscreen frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jD8tjhVO1Tc" width="640">
 </iframe>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 On the walk to
 <em>
  barnehage
 </em>
 this morning, I met a fellow mom in drop-off mode. Like many of my neighbors, she wears her headscarf under her parka; her daughters toddle beside her in matching pink snowsuits. I've seen this mom many times before and, because I'm me, I always smile</div></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2017/02/01/the-politics-of-prefiguration/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8fd</guid><category><![CDATA[Daily Expat Life]]></category><category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category><category><![CDATA[Norway]]></category><category><![CDATA[Oslo]]></category><category><![CDATA[Patriotism]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 01 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><div>
 <iframe allowfullscreen frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jD8tjhVO1Tc" width="640">
 </iframe>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 On the walk to
 <em>
  barnehage
 </em>
 this morning, I met a fellow mom in drop-off mode. Like many of my neighbors, she wears her headscarf under her parka; her daughters toddle beside her in matching pink snowsuits. I've seen this mom many times before and, because I'm me, I always smile and say
 <em>
  God morgen
 </em>
 . This usually elicits the standard, solemn Norwegian nod. Today, though, she surprised me by responding.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 We spoke in Norwegian for a minute or two about our kids and the school. Then I had to stop and apologize because I couldn't come up with a word. She smiled and told me, in English, that her Norwegian isn't perfect either. She learned English and Norwegian at the same time after moving here ten years ago as a refugee from Somalia. When she heard I'm from California, she said she has always wanted to visit the states.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 "My best friend lives in Indiana now," she said.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 "Indiana is nice, too," I told her. "But not as nice as California."
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 We laughed. As we pulled up to the barnehage, she became serious.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 "I want to visit her, but now... I don't when I'll see her again."
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 Somalia is on the President's list of banned Muslim-majority nations.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 I know as well as anyone that the plural of anecdote is not data. My conversation with a sweet lady from Somalia (who is, in some ways, better integrated to our host country than I am) doesn't prove that there aren't anti-American terrorists in her country. But President Trump's ban doesn't appear to be based on data or anecdote.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 The list of seven nations is
 <a href="http://www.snopes.com/trumps-muslim-ban-exclude-countries-businesses/">
  conspicuously partial
 </a>
 , excluding countries where Trump has business interests. It also doesn't include any of the countries that have actually been home to terrorists who have attacked the United States. As it stands, this ban is a careless, heartless move that serves to placate the President's most fearful constituents, and, possibly, to anger and distract the energies of his most ardent opponents.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 Activists protest at the airports. The ACLU attempts to defend people whose rights are at risk. My Farsi- and Arabic-speaking friends volunteer as translators. My traveling husband decides exactly how much information he believes is pertinent to provide at passport control. (What will we say one day when asked about our religion at the American border?) Fighting ticks up in Ukraine. The EU takes a defensive stance against the American President. The world rages.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 But here in Oslo today, I exchanged names and sincerity with a woman who was a stranger. We talked about helping one another with language. Because we're alike: immigrants, moms, kind people. This is one example of what writer and philosopher Rebecca Solnit describes as the "politics of prefiguration":
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 "[T]he idea that
 <strong>
  if you embody what you aspire to, you have already succeeded
 </strong>
 . That is to say, if your activism is already democratic, peaceful, creative, then in one small corner of the world these things have triumphed. Activism, in this model, is not only a toolbox to change things but a home in which to take up residence and live according to your beliefs, even if it's a temporary and local place, this paradise of participating, this vale where souls get made." -- Rebecca Solnit, "Getting the Hell Out of Paradise"
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 I know so many fellow liberals are feeling exhausted these days. Particularly white, straight, middle class liberals who aren't used to feeling required to play constant defense, for ourselves and for others. We're out of practice after eight years of nodding along to the progressive agenda of a President who had our respect. If any part of that describes you, I encourage you not to become fatigued. Live your activism; make it your home. Smile at strangers and be open-hearted. These little things will renew us, remind us why we're fighting.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 If I've taken one positive thing from my conservative, religious upbringing it's the knowledge that a living witness is the most dynamic kind. Move through the world the way you want the world to be, and when you're reinvigorated or spurred to jump back in, pick up those signs and call those senators. It's your soul. Take care of it. It's your world. Change it.
</div>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Kolonial: Online Grocery Shopping in Oslo II]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 Stuff changes so fast in Oslo. Many might think Norway remains old or stodgy or slow. Wrong. These days there's a revolution-a-minute when it comes to new enterprise. The level of education is high here. Norwegians are also overwhelmingly technologically literate and quick to embrace new tech as it comes.</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2017/01/05/kolonial-online-groceries-oslo/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8f7</guid><category><![CDATA[Daily Expat Life]]></category><category><![CDATA[Norway]]></category><category><![CDATA[Oslo]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 05 Jan 2017 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 Stuff changes so fast in Oslo. Many might think Norway remains old or stodgy or slow. Wrong. These days there's a revolution-a-minute when it comes to new enterprise. The level of education is high here. Norwegians are also overwhelmingly technologically literate and quick to embrace new tech as it comes. A couple of years ago, I wrote a short post on online grocery shopping in Oslo, highlighting a company we used exclusively at the time called Dagligvarerexpressen (Dex). It was one of only a couple options available at the time. Since then, several other delivery companies have popped up, so I thought it was time for an update here!
</p>
<p>
 <img alt="kolonial.no-logo.jpg" height="125" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/kolonial.no-logo-thumb-320x125-4033.jpg" width="320">
</p>
<p>
 First of all, grocery delivery in Oslo has boomed, and there's a new, very successful kid in town.
 <a href="https://kolonial.no/">
  Kolonial
 </a>
 <a href="http://kolonial.no/">
  .no
 </a>
 showed up seemingly overnight and has taken the industry by storm. Already, it's absorbing up its competitors. I think this is partly because, unlike Dex and the rest, Kolonial.no's website is incredibly user-friendly, though not available in English.
 <br>
</p>
<p>
 We've used Kolonial.no, and they provide very good service. In partnership with Rema 1000, their selection continues to grow, which is nice, as we are attached to certain brands. Delivery fees in town begin at only 39 nok. (You can also pick up your order at one of thirty pick-points in the city for free.) When the delivery person arrived with my last order, she said she'd decided not to bring the greenbeans I ordered because they looked pretty bad. "Our produce is usually better," she said. Rather than tossing it in anyway and letting the customer sort it out, she was proactive about bringing only the best. The refund was automatic.
</p>
<p>
 Coincidentally, I had the opportunity to interview Kolonial.no's cofounder, Karl Munthes-Haas, in September for
 <a href="http://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/10/startup-guide-oslo.html">
  Startup Guide Oslo
 </a>
 . His story is fascinating, and you can read my full interview with him (along with several other exciting entrepreneurs)
 <a href="http://startupeverywhere.com/index.php/product/oslo/">
  in the book
 </a>
 . Here's one thing that stuck with me. When I asked what motivates him to come to work each day, building Kolonial.no into the number one grocery delivery company in Oslo, he said:
</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>
 "I like that the value of the company is not just in the profit the company brings in, but also the benefit it provides to its consumers, above what they pay for. That's what motivates me. Let's say we do ten thousand deliveries in a week; that's at least ten thousand hours saved for the people who buy from us. Once the ball starts rolling, you get swallowed up in the responsibilities--employees to think about, orders that need to be filled, growth that needs to be done--but I think the underlying motivation is still creating value, which is good."
</p>
<p>
 <br>
</p>
<p>
 Karl's work ethic and vision for the company are inspiring and definitely in keeping with Scandinavian ideals about business and equality. It makes me feel good to support them.
</p>
<p>
 </p><p>
  <img alt="kolonihagen logo.jpg" height="240" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/kolonihagen%20logo-thumb-320x240-4036.jpg" width="320">
 </p>
 <p>
  We're also fans of
  <a href="http://kolonihagen.no/">
   Kolonihagen
  </a>
  . Don't be confused! It's a totally different company. Kolonihagen offers baskets of fresh ingredients for specified meals, as well as a la carte organic produce and groceries. We subscribe to the Vegetar Matkasse (vegetarian food basket) for two adults. This includes recipes for three meals and exactly the ingredients we need to cook them. There are also options for larger baskets, as well as meat and fish meals. When the Hazelnut (who is closing in on turning two years old!) isn't being picky, the receipe yield is usuall enough for all three of us.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  It's been about six months since we started our membership. Overall, we're pleased. I'd say we manage to make all the meals in the basket about 90% of the time. We've only run into two or three meals that we didn't want to eat. The rest are solid, creative, yummy. There have even been meals we've LOVED (particularly the spectacular soups!). Only rarely do the recipes repeat, so there's no fatigue on that score. A couple of times items have arrived on the cusp of going bad or molding. The company has refunded us for a loaf of bread, for example, without pushback. Kolonihagen also has a sleek, simple website that makes it easy for members to log in and place an order or pause the delivery for a week or two.
 </p>
 <p>
  Kolonihagen also runs a chain of restaurants around town. A few years ago, I had a less-than-optimal experience at the one in Frogner. Nothing to go into detail about here. But when I mentioned it in passing on social media, the manager got in touch with me and offered a comped meal to make up for it. I appreciate that kind of customer service. It meant I didn't cringe at the name when the basket delivery started, happily.
 </p>
 <p>
  <img alt="Foodora_logo_pink.png" height="192" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/Foodora_logo_pink-thumb-320x192-4039.png" width="320">
 </p>
 <p>
  And if you've been in Oslo for more than an hour, you've definitely seen the bright pink
  <a href="https://www.foodora.no/">
   Foodora
  </a>
  cyclists zipping all over town. I can hardly remember what life was like here before them. (Wait. Yes I can. Less lazy for me.)
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  Now, if you want fried chicken or tandoori lamb or tacos with mango salso or falafel brought to your door, all you have to do is order via the website or the smartphone app. Seriously easy. Seriously worth it. When you log in, they list what's available by distance and/or estimated time of delivery. (Do I want pizza now? Or a spicy cheeseburger forty-five minutes from now?) If takeout wasn't so blasted expensive in Oslo anyway, I'd do this all the time. But for a special occasion, I'm just so glad to have the option.
 </p>
 <p>
  So there you go. Growth. I've been in Oslo almost six years, and this part of the landscape is almost entirely different from what it was back in little old 2011. Hopefully I'll find time and energy to blog about the excellent improvement in the food culture generally. Until then, I'll just mention
  <a href="http://www.4gringos.no/">
   the 4GRINGOS taco trucks
  </a>
  that hang out at Youngstorget and Aker Brygge. Scrumptious and spicy! Happy eating!
 </p>
<p></p></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Glimpses: Moments with the TYF Delegates]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="Telenor Youth Forum 2016_thursday_ WEB-10 (1).jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/Telenor%20Youth%20Forum%202016_thursday_%20WEB-10%20%281%29-thumb-600x400-4030.jpg" width="600">
</p>
<p>
 "I want to work on climate change," says Paridhi Rustogi.
</p>
<p>
 It's December 8, the first official day of
 <a href="https://www.telenor.com/youthforum/">
  Telenor Youth Forum
 </a>
 2016. At a hightop table in the Scandic hotel lobby, TYF delegates from India, Norway and Bangladesh lean in to talk about what's to come. Later in the day,</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/12/14/moments-telenor-youth-forum-blog/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8fb</guid><category><![CDATA[Norway]]></category><category><![CDATA[Oslo]]></category><category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 14 Dec 2016 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="Telenor Youth Forum 2016_thursday_ WEB-10 (1).jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/Telenor%20Youth%20Forum%202016_thursday_%20WEB-10%20%281%29-thumb-600x400-4030.jpg" width="600">
</p>
<p>
 "I want to work on climate change," says Paridhi Rustogi.
</p>
<p>
 It's December 8, the first official day of
 <a href="https://www.telenor.com/youthforum/">
  Telenor Youth Forum
 </a>
 2016. At a hightop table in the Scandic hotel lobby, TYF delegates from India, Norway and Bangladesh lean in to talk about what's to come. Later in the day, they'll be broken into teams and assigned one of seventeen possible global goals. They've had no control over either of those steps. So, which global goal do they each want to work on? Most hedge. They're open minded. A challenge is a challenge, and the experience will be good no matter what. But Paridhi--an environmental engineer and a delegate from India--shakes her head.
</p>
<p>
 "Climate change is what matters most to me." She is definitive.
</p>
<p>
 Two other delegates gently challenge her choice--or, indeed, any choice at all-- especially in an opportune environment like TYF. Better to get something you're not as familiar with; you'll learn more that way.
</p>
<p>
 "Hey, I thought this was a safe space," says Paridhi with a laugh.
</p>
<p>
 Her fellow delegate from India, Sharad Vivek Sagar, answers, "A safe space isn't a comfort zone."
</p>
<p>
 He's right. But I still give a little inner cheer later that day when the Climate Change team calls Paridhi's name. Hurrah for young people with resolve.
</p>
<p>
 ***
</p>
<p>
 I blogged the whole four day event--
 <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/09/tyf-delegates-run-oslo-city-race/">
  the fun and games
 </a>
 , Oslo
 <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/11/oslo-by-torchlight-tyf-delegates-celebrate-the-peace-prize-winner/">
  by firelight
 </a>
 and
 <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/10/a-rainy-walk-to-the-2016-nobel-peace-prize-ceremony/">
  by rain
 </a>
 , the Nobel Peace Prize
 <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/10/nobel-peace-prize-ceremony-tyf/">
  reception and exhibit preview
 </a>
 ,
 <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/08/tyf-greetings-and-goals/">
  the meetings with dignitaries
 </a>
 ,
 <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/09/jobs-to-be-done-tyf-livework/">
  the hard hard work
 </a>
 , and
 <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/12/not-throwin-away-my-shot-tyf-delegates-pitch-to-renowned-panelists/">
  the final pitch competition
 </a>
 --for the Telenor Youth Forum Blog. But a few things didn't fit there. A few moments I want to bottle up. Keep. Share.
</p>
<p>
 </p><p>
  ***
 </p>
 <p>
  On the bus to Telenor HQ, I slip into a seat next to Sara Babiker. Because of her hijab and my own subconscious assumptions about religion and ethnicity, I incorrectly guess that she's here from Malaysia.
 </p>
 <p>
  "Sweden," she corrects me.
 </p>
 <p>
  Sara's Sudanese parents raised their daughter in Stockholm. Both of them are doctors, and Sara swore she'd never follow them into medicine. Her interests are diverse and fascinating. Sports journalism, because she enjoys football; writing, though academia has managed to numb the joy of it in recent years. So what's she studying now?
 </p>
 <p>
  "Medicine," she says, and dips her chin toward the irony with a soft smile. "I was interested in Biology, but I like working with people."
 </p>
 <p>
  ***
 </p>
 <p>
  Ani Koleva of Bulgaria studied journalism before switching to economics. The latter felt like a better foundation for a later career choice. On a bus ride, she teaches me that Cyrillic--often called the Russian alphabet--was actually born in Bulgaria. She tells me about her country's beautiful beaches running along the Black Sea.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  Over a meal of reindeer and rice at Laavo on the first night, Ani talks about the time she visited Jordan as part of a student exchange program. That program turned out to be something of a scam. She and her fellow female Bulgarian students experienced religious conservatism firsthand, kept separate from their male counterparts, forbidden even to laugh. She is proud that, when the time came, she and her friends stood up for their liberal values of personal freedom and gender equality. Ani's group was able to leave the country safely, but she carries those memories with her.
 </p>
 <p>
  ***
 </p>
 <p>
  Bojana Minic is from Montenegro, buts she studied law in Vienna. Everyone in her family is a lawyer, but she doesn't want to join them. They think she's a little crazy, but she doesn't mind making choices that buck the trend. Bojana is a prospective member of the International Institute of Space Law in Paris. She worked for Hard Rock International and runs a blog called Lifestyle Montenegro.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  "In Montenegro, we eat a lot and sleep a lot, but we work hard when we need to work hard," she says.
 </p>
 <p>
  ***
 </p>
 <p>
  Jovana Daljevic of Serbia is passionate about helping children with disabilities. She's a writer, and has written in English for the Novak Djokovic Foundation blog. Bright-eyed and bright-minded, Jovana is organising a humanitarian drive "Our kilometre for their better life"(Naš kilometar za njihov bolji život) in Serbia.
 </p>
 <p>
  Her team worked late into the night on Saturday. But Sunday, when they awoke and returned to the table, the group realized there was a better way to present their product. Taking the advice of the alumni group (use the best idea, not necessarily the one in which you've invested the most time), they scrapped what they had and started over. A brave move that seems to pay off.
 </p>
 <p>
  ***
 </p>
 <p>
  Wearing cut-off denim shorts and dark tights, Tamara Kojic (also of Serbia) fights a yawn on the last day of teamwork. Stepping back from the table, she falls forward into a yoga pose, nose to knee. Her voice rings out in any space, almost always backed by laughter.
 </p>
 <p>
  When she was assigned to the Mental Health team, Tamara wasn't terribly excited at first. She felt her own experience and resources could have been better used in the group on young refugees, for example. But then she remembered how this opportunity came to her.
 </p>
 <p>
  "We were selected from so many others," she says, gesturing to the rest of the delegates, mingling in the lounge at the Telenor Arena. "People believed I was the best choice to do this. So I did my best." Indeed, they all did.
 </p>
 <p>
  ***
 </p>
 <p>
  It's difficult to do Sharad Sagar justice in writing. He dazzles. Even standing still, his energy seems to pulse forward. But he rarely stands still. Over the span of four days, we talk everything from Trump to
  <a data-mce-href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/wadeshepard/2016/12/10/indias-central-bank-denied-its-big-payday-as-demonetization-flops/#2bb169917a77" href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/wadeshepard/2016/12/10/indias-central-bank-denied-its-big-payday-as-demonetization-flops/#2bb169917a77">
   India's recent demonetization
  </a>
  shock to matriculation rituals at Tufts University. Data peppers his dialogue. He is the kind of person who can talk for hours. (When his team's 5-minute pitch ends on Sunday, Sharad uses the opportunity of a panel question to expound further on their product, a move that garners both applause and slightly backhanded compliments later in the day. "That was so rude. I loved it.") But he is also an articulate listener and respects the necessity of team support.
 </p>
 <p>
  I tease him about his political crush, President Obama, a Nobel laureate and, as Sharad describes, a "Politician 2.0." Sharad recently had the opportunity to meet President Obama, an experience that left a predictably profound impression. When I ask whether Sharad thinks about going into politics, the question feels clunky in my mouth. Of course he does. What intelligent, eloquent young person with a passion for social entrepreneurship and entré into the upper echelons of global power doesn't think about that possibility?
 </p>
 <p>
  "There is danger in having that ambition too young," says 24-year-old Sharad. "If a person aims too high too quickly, their attempt could easily get labeled as a joke. They could burn out and ruin their chances of winning and making a difference later on."
 </p>
 <p>
  I can see how this hypothetical haunts him. For now, Sharad is the Founder and CEO of Dexterity Global; one of the Forbes 30 Under 30 class of 2016; a Rockefeller 100 Next Century Innovator; and a Telenor Youth Forum 2016 delegate working to turn the Lost Generation of young refugees into World Citizens.
 </p>
 <p>
  And he's always up for
  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BN4Gs9VB5J0/?taken-by=audreyjean333">
   a good game of keep-the-balloon-from-hitting-the-floor
  </a>
  .
 </p>
 <p>
  ***
 </p>
 <p>
  Parting from the group
  <a href="https://youthforumblog.telenor.com/2016/12/13/retrospective-tyf/">
   after Sunday's concert
  </a>
  reminded me of the end of summer camp. It was that familiar pain. The one I had as a camper, and then later as a counselor. I've always been one to love people quickly, a quality equal parts happy and hazard. It means easy conversations and lots of learning, but it also means my heart hurts a bit when people I have known briefly and deeply return home. It is unlikely that I will see
  <a href="https://www.telenor.com/youthforum/delegates2016/">
   these folks
  </a>
  again. But I'll be pulling for them. And I hope you will be, too.
 </p>
 <p>
  <em>
   Photo by
   <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ihnebilder/">
    Ihne Pedersen
   </a>
   <br>
    (the brilliant photographer
    <br>
     who was at my side the whole way)
    <br>
   <br>
  </em>
 </p>
<p></p></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Blogging the Telenor Youth Forum]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="IMG_1847.jpg" height="310" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/IMG_1847-thumb-320x310-4027.jpg" width="320">
</p>
<p>
 This is what I'm doing for the next four days:
</p>
<p>
 Following 26 inspiring young people from around the globe as they work to use technology to better the world.
</p>
<p>
 I'll be live blogging the Telenor Youth Forum. Please read. And share. And support these fascinating human beings as they tackle</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/12/08/blogging-the-telenor-youth-for/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8fa</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 08 Dec 2016 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="IMG_1847.jpg" height="310" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/IMG_1847-thumb-320x310-4027.jpg" width="320">
</p>
<p>
 This is what I'm doing for the next four days:
</p>
<p>
 Following 26 inspiring young people from around the globe as they work to use technology to better the world.
</p>
<p>
 I'll be live blogging the Telenor Youth Forum. Please read. And share. And support these fascinating human beings as they tackle global goals like ending hunger and poverty, accomplishing gender equality, providing clean water. On and on and on.
</p>
<p>
 Read the
 <a href="http://youthforumblog.telenor.com/">
  Telenor Youth Forum Blog
 </a>
 . (Just made the first post!)
 <a href="https://www.instagram.com/audreyjean333/">
  Follow me on Instagram
 </a>
 to see Oslo through the most excited and optimistic eyes.
</p>
<p>
 Happy Nobel Peace Prize Weekend, everyone! Peace be with us all.
</p>
</div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[To all the Dumb Chumps & Crazy Broads]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><div>
 See if any of this sounds familiar.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <img alt="born yesterday.jpeg" height="466" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/born%20yesterday-thumb-600x466-4014.jpeg" width="600">
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 A swarthy, coarse, rude tycoon named Harry arrives in Washington D.C. He's ready to do business. He's got a right hand man with political experience and connections. He's got a "bad apple" congressman ready to take bribes. And he's got a statuesque</div></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/11/14/crazy-broad/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8f9</guid><category><![CDATA[Patriotism]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 14 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><div>
 See if any of this sounds familiar.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <img alt="born yesterday.jpeg" height="466" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/born%20yesterday-thumb-600x466-4014.jpeg" width="600">
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 A swarthy, coarse, rude tycoon named Harry arrives in Washington D.C. He's ready to do business. He's got a right hand man with political experience and connections. He's got a "bad apple" congressman ready to take bribes. And he's got a statuesque trophy girlfriend, Billie, who knows how to keep her mouth shut as long as she gets what she wants. ("Two mink coats. Everything.")
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 While Harry wheels and deals, he realizes Billie's own brassy, uncouth manners might be a liability. He hires a bright young reporter named Paul to squire Billie around and teach her a few things. Just to give her something to do during the day, to polish her up.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 But Paul begins with books. He urges Billie to read and read and read. He gives her
 <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1404/1404-h/1404-h.htm">
  The Federalist Papers
 </a>
 and
 <a href="http://www.bigeye.com/napoleon.htm">
  "After Visiting the Tomb of Napoleon"
 </a>
 by Robert G. Ingersoll. Billie tries hard to understand it all. She's a high school dropout and a former chorus girl and, worst of all, she's been living with Harry for seven years. Her own father won't see her as long as she is still "living in any way unethical." Paul is the first person to respectfully meet her where she lives and give her a shot at seeing out of her circumstances.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 (And Paul is William Holden so, hello sexual tension.)
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 They visit the Supreme Court, the National Archives, and attend the symphony.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 Paul even gives Billie a political piece he wrote titled "The Yellowing Democratic Manifesto." In a moment of tables turning, Paul learns that his liberal elitism has rendered his message and principles all but unintelligible to people like her.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 This is a problem, because, in taking on this Pygmalion-style task, Paul has an ulterior motive. Frustrated, Billie asks why it's so important to him that she reads and thinks about the writing of men dead for hundreds of years.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 Paul says:
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <strong>
  <span>
   It's sort of a cause. I want everyone to be smart.
  </span>
 </strong>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <strong>
  <span>
   As smart as they can be.
  </span>
 </strong>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 <strong>
  <span>
   A world full of ignorant people is too dangerous to live in.
  </span>
 </strong>
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 Here's where I'll stop and say this has always been one of my favorite films. I watch it at least once a year. It began as a smash Broadway play by
 <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garson_Kanin">
  Garson Kanin
 </a>
 , and the dialogue sparkles. It's hilarious. It's also an incredible time capsule of 1940s Washington, as well as a glimpse of the post-WWII re-casting of gender roles.
</div>
<div>
 <br>
</div>
<div>
 But with a twist. Billie is the hero.
</div>
<p>
 <div>
  When Donald "I grab 'em by the pussy" Trump won the American election on Tuesday night, my psyche took a major blow. People I know and love voted for him and celebrated his win. When I asked them to condemn the racist, sexist things the President Elect said during his campaign, they wouldn't. And on Wednesday, I dreamed of
  <i>
   <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0042276/?ref_=ttgf_gf_tt">
    Born Yesterday
   </a>
   (1950)
  </i>
  .
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <img alt="born yesterday 4.jpg" height="462" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/born%20yesterday%204-thumb-600x462-4017.jpg" width="600">
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  At the Jefferson Memorial, Billie and Paul have this conversation:
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  Billie: Do you hate him like poison?
 </div>
 <div>
  Paul: Who? Harry?
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  Billie: Yeah.
 </div>
 <div>
  Paul: No.
 </div>
 <div>
  Billie: You don't like him.
 </div>
 <div>
  Paul: No.
 </div>
 <div>
  Billie: On account of me and him?
 </div>
 <div>
  Paul: One reason. There are lots more.
 </div>
 <div>
  Billie: What?
 </div>
 <div>
  Paul: Think about it, Billie, and you'll see Harry's a menace.
 </div>
 <div>
  Billie: Oh, he's not so bad. I've seen worse.
 </div>
 <div>
  Paul: Has he ever thought of anyone but himself?
 </div>
 <div>
  Billie: Who does?
 </div>
 <div>
  <strong>
   <span>
    Paul: Millions of people, Billie.
   </span>
  </strong>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <strong>
   <span>
    The whole history of the world is the story
   </span>
  </strong>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <strong>
   <span>
    of the struggle between the selfish and the unselfish...
   </span>
  </strong>
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <span>
   <strong>
    All that's bad around us is bred by selfishness.
   </strong>
  </span>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <span>
   <strong>
    Sometimes selfishness can even get to be a cause,
   </strong>
  </span>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <span>
   <strong>
    an organized force... even a government.
   </strong>
  </span>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <span>
   <strong>
    And then it's called fascism.
   </strong>
  </span>
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  They walk into the Jefferson Memorial, and Paul reads the inscription in the marble running in a great circle overhead: "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  Donald "Mexicans are rapists" Trump won our election. This is a man who has threatened to jail his opponent. A man who has promised to build a literal wall along our southern border. A man who has suggested imposing a religious test on immigrants in direct opposition to the First Amendment. A man who has said he supports killing the families of terrorists. A man who has praised the leadership of Putin and Kim Jong Un. A man who has insulted and harrassed women--political opponents, reporters, actresses, beauty queens--about their appearance. A man who has agreed with others calling his daughter "a piece of ass."
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  As
  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rSDUsMwakI">
   John Oliver noted yesterday
  </a>
  , "Some argue he might not have meant all those things. That leaves us with two bad options: Either we just elected a president who didn't mean a single word he said, or we elected one who did."
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  There is a third possibility: We may have elected a president who meant some things and not other things. In which case, we're all going to be waiting four years for the other shoe to drop. That's an easier prospect for people who are not members of the groups he has helped to marginalize for the last 18 months.
 </div>
 <div>
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 </p><p>
  <img alt="born yesterday 2.jpg" height="240" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/born%20yesterday%202-thumb-320x240-4020.jpg" width="320">
 </p>
 <div>
  The books Billie reads pile up over the course of the film. By the end, they're everywhere. She sits on a stack of them and puts her chin in her hand, like The Thinker.
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  I hate to spoil the end of this beautiful movie, so I'll just say that Billie pulls through in a big way. A way that reminds us what "the people" are capable of when they embody the principles behind the United States of America. You know the ones: respect, dignity, opportunity and equality, education, sticking together. Knowledge is power. And as
  <a href="https://no.pinterest.com/pin/393150242444154681/">
   Malala Yousafzai once reminded us
  </a>
  , "Terrorists have shown what frightens them most: a girl with a book."
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  I believe my country is in trouble. The man about to ascend to power has threatened to back out of NATO, which, as USA Today reminded us in their anti-Trump endorsement, is "an agreement that has kept the majority of the globe at peace for decades, and has only mobilized once in its history: when our allies joined us to fight Al Qaeda after 9/11." He has said climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. He... I could go on and on.
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  People are rioting in the streets. (Rioting is always wrong. Protesting is an American birthright, but rioting is never okay.) And right-wing extremists around the world are celebrating.
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  If you're a Trump supporter who feels that my thoughts on this issue are an attack on you... Fine. I feel pretty impotent on the issue, living thousands of miles away from home while a lecherous narcissist takes power. So, let me be clear:
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  I respect your right to vote even if I don't respect the person you voted for.
 </div>
 <div>
  I respect some of the values that inspired your vote for the GOP, but none of the values that boil down to selfishness.
 </div>
 <div>
  I respect the office of the President, but I will never respect Trump.
 </div>
 <div>
  I will be watching. If I see racist behavior on your part, I will call it out.
 </div>
 <p>
  <img alt="born yesterday 1.jpg" height="256" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/born%20yesterday%201-thumb-320x256-4024.jpg" width="320">
 </p>
 <div>
  And I'm ready to fight what I fear is coming with every tool at my disposal. That might not be much, but it's what we have as members of a democracy. A right to speak, a right to write, a right to assemble, a right to vote. Beyond that, I will continue to be an ally to anyone--friend or stranger--who feels threatened by Trump and his campaign promises, even if those promises turn out to be hollow. Because if Trump turns out to be merely a liar... meaning he, personally, isn't a bigot, a misogynist, a violent maniac... the wretched side effect has been that he validated all those feelings in a subsection of the American people, and too many assholes are emboldened today by this change in the wind.
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  Allow me to close with the story of Paul and Billie.
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  "Dumb chump," snarls a thwarted Harry. "Crazy broad."
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  And his fixer raises a glass, "To all the dumb chumps and all the crazy broads, past, present, and future, who thirst for knowledge and search for truth... who fight for justice and civilize each other... and make it so tough for crooks like you... and me."
 </div>
 <div>
  <br>
 </div>
 <div>
  These are my goals for the next four years. Join me, won't you?
 </div>
<p></p></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[A Suspecting Glance]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="2016-10-02_15-14-25_658.jpeg" height="320" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/2016-10-02_15-14-25_658-thumb-320x320-4011.jpeg" width="320">
</p>
<p>
 The casserole dish in my hand felt suddenly heavy. In front of me were three long tables full of food: fried rice, potato cakes, shrimp rolls, toasted baguettes, quiches and hummus with vegetables. All homemade. All basically healthy and hearty. And here I was with a casserole dish of chocolate</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/10/24/papa-quote-suspecting-glance/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8c5</guid><category><![CDATA[Daily Expat Life]]></category><category><![CDATA[Norway]]></category><category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 24 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="2016-10-02_15-14-25_658.jpeg" height="320" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/2016-10-02_15-14-25_658-thumb-320x320-4011.jpeg" width="320">
</p>
<p>
 The casserole dish in my hand felt suddenly heavy. In front of me were three long tables full of food: fried rice, potato cakes, shrimp rolls, toasted baguettes, quiches and hummus with vegetables. All homemade. All basically healthy and hearty. And here I was with a casserole dish of chocolate chip cookies.
</p>
<p>
 It was
 <em>
  FN Dag
 </em>
 (UN Day for us English speakers), and the Hazelnut's
 <em>
  barnehage
 </em>
 had a celebration, complete with singing and food. The kids in her
 <em>
  avdeling
 </em>
 (class) wore pink face paint splashed across their cheeks and had their names on pink sashes across their cold weather
 <em>
  parkdresses
 </em>
 . We were supposed to bring food that represented our home country.
</p>
<p>
 I dug into my "America stash" and finished off my last bag of Nestlé chocolate chips for the occasion. Because that's how much I love my daughter.
</p>
<p>
 But once I was actually at the school, elbow to elbow with other parents arriving to drop off their food contributions, I felt a wave of self-consciousness break over me.
 <br>
</p>
<p>
 <em>
  Did I really show up with the only dessert? Is that weird for an event like this? Were we asked not to bring desserts? Did I miss that in the translation of the notice from the barnehage? Were people opposed to giving sugar to the kids? Was this a Norwegian thing I just didn't understand yet? Would people see the little American flag next to my cookie casserole and roll their eyes? I might has well have brought a big sack of McDonald's burgers...
 </em>
</p>
<p>
 </p><p>
  I tucked my cookies between a sausage dish and a heaping pile of pasta salad and hurried back to the circle of kids. A perky young woman with a long brown ponytail led all the classes in song. When they started singing the Hoky Poky in Norwegian, I teared up for a second. My little Hazelnut was holding hands with the kids on either side of her, looking stubby and adorable in her too-big-but-she'll-grow-into-it-soon purple parkdress. The teachers sang, "Oogie-boogie-boogie" rather than "Do the hoky poky," and I fought the urge to grab my babe and sing it to her the "right" way. Because this is the "right" way here. This is her childhood, not mine. We're learning what that means together. Sometimes I worry that my non-Norwegianness will let her down.
 </p>
 <p>
  A couple of years ago, I came across these wise words from Derek Miller, an American father in Norway and author of
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15775210-norwegian-by-night">
   Norwegian by Night
  </a>
  :
 </p>
 <p>
  "I have lived abroad since 1996. That's 17 years. This was never the intention. I fled nothing. I am not an 'expatriate'. Others may be, but I reject the term. I left America on a whim of adventure and curiosity, which I took to be a very American thing to do. I was going someplace then, not leaving something behind. I was too young to realise they were inseparable.
 </p>
 <p>
  But now I am old enough to realise that I have done both. And in doing so, I will need this
  <em>
   rapprochement
  </em>
  to evolve into a more mature relationship precisely because my children will need their father to be less of a foreigner and more of a guide.
 </p>
 <p>
  Luckily for me, my children will never experience quite what I'm experiencing. They will know and understand Norway as natives do. They may even be a step ahead because they will be able to cast what Nietzsche called a "suspecting glance" at their own cultural presumptions, and in doing so, harness a greater understanding of their own world and themselves.
 </p>
 <p>
  I can't guide them on being Norwegian (though my wife Camilla can). What I can do is orient them to see and make sense of the cultural dynamics that will play out both within and around them. With such a vocabulary they will have a way to talk about this. With a framework for making sense of their dual identities they will be better able to reason with and through them. And both of these resources will help them in the long run to build the strategies they need to live more complete - rather than divided - lives."
 </p>
 <p>
  <a href="https://www.ft.com/content/acd6342e-763d-11e2-8eb6-00144feabdc0#axzz2NmzzV7Mz">
   Read the whole piece in the Financial Times
  </a>
 </p>
 <p>
  Later, when the larger group separated into avdelings again, and we all sat with paper plates full of food at picnic tables built for toddlers, I got a chance to talk with some of the other parents. (In English.)
 </p>
 <p>
  "Audrey, did you bring the cookies?" someone asked. "They're amazing!"
 </p>
 <p>
  "What recipe is this? Why are they so good?" someone else asked, her mouth full of cookie.
 </p>
 <p>
  I answered, "It's slightly modified from the one on the bag."
 </p>
 <p>
  "Bag?"
 </p>
 <p>
  No one knew what I meant. The yellow bag. Nestlé Tollhouse. The way it's pronounced by Phoebe Buffay. But with an extra half cup of flour. Instead of explaining all that, I summed it up:
 </p>
 <p>
  "American chocolate chips. That's the only way the cookies taste 'right' to me, so I bring bags of them back with me each time I visit. And the cookies taste amazing because they're just terrible for you."
 </p>
 <p>
  The group laughed, and another mom reached out to her son and asked him, "
  <em>
   Vil du ha kake
  </em>
  ?" He gobbled the golden-brown bits from her hand and ran off to play. No fears about sugar around here.
 </p>
 <p>
  As Jonathan, the Hazelnut and I prepared to go home at the end of the day, I retrieved my casserole dish from the table and found it had essentially been licked clean.
 </p>
<p></p></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Writing News! Startup Guide Oslo]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="Image.jpg" height="320" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/Image-thumb-320x320-4005.jpg" width="320">
</p>
<p>
 For the last two months, I have been swimming in the Oslo startup scene. It's an exciting place to be. Norway is poised to make the most of its status as one of the fastest growing hubs for innovation in Europe. There's wealth, education, competency and infrastructure aplenty here. Since</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/10/23/startup-guide-oslo/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8f8</guid><category><![CDATA[A Look Inside Oslo's Attractions]]></category><category><![CDATA[Daily Expat Life]]></category><category><![CDATA[Norway]]></category><category><![CDATA[Oslo]]></category><category><![CDATA[Scandinavia]]></category><category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 23 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 <img alt="Image.jpg" height="320" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/Image-thumb-320x320-4005.jpg" width="320">
</p>
<p>
 For the last two months, I have been swimming in the Oslo startup scene. It's an exciting place to be. Norway is poised to make the most of its status as one of the fastest growing hubs for innovation in Europe. There's wealth, education, competency and infrastructure aplenty here. Since 2011, a vibrant network of coworking spaces, incubators, accelerators and angel investors has developed in this fertile environment. And here's the book on all of it:
 <em>
  <a href="http://startupeverywhere.com/index.php/product/oslo/">
   Startup Guide Oslo
  </a>
 </em>
 .
 <br>
</p>
<p>
 I was honored when
 <a href="http://startupguide.world/">
  Startup Everywhere
 </a>
 approached me about writing the sixth in their growing library of entrepreneurial handbooks.
 <em>
  Startup Guide Oslo
 </em>
 offers a comprehensive overview of the city for its current and would-be entrepreneurs. Everyone in the guide was selected via a nomination and voting process.  In August and September, I raced all over the city interviewing the major players.
</p>
<p dir="ltr">
 I had the chance to visit ten very different coworking spaces in town: 657 Oslo, Avd. Frysja, Bitraf, Fellesverkstedet, Gründergarasjen, The Factory, MESH, Oslo International Hub, Sentralen and SoCentral. You'll find insights (including practical stats like square meters, number of desks/offices, pricing) and beautiful interior photos in the book.
</p>
<p dir="ltr">
 <img alt="Image (1).jpg" height="450" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/Image%20%281%29-thumb-600x450-4008.jpg" width="600">
</p>
<p>
 </p><p>
  My favorite part of the guide is the chapter of in-depth interviews with successful (and sometimes serial) entrepreneurs, including:
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <strong>
   Johan Brand of Kahoot!
  </strong>
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <a href="https://getkahoot.com/">
   Kahoot!
  </a>
  is a free game-based learning platform. It works for any subject, in any language, on any device. In a group setting, players read questions on a shared screen - encouraging them to look up - then answer on their own devices. It reaches 33 million monthly active users in 180 countries. Johan's passion for using fun for good is infectious and it comes through in our chat.
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <strong>
   Karl Munthe-Kaas of Kolonial.no
  </strong>
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <a href="https://kolonial.no/">
   Kolonial.no
  </a>
  is Norway's largest online grocer. They offer a wide range of groceries and dinners delivered either to customers' homes or pick-up points. Their goal is to make grocery shopping efficient and easy, benefiting the lives of their consumers. Kolonial.no is one of the fastest growing Nordic startups. I'm a happy customer, and I enjoyed learning about Karl's pragmatic approach to starting up.
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <strong>
   Jon von Tetzchner of Vivaldi
  </strong>
  (formerly CEO of Opera Software)
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <a href="https://vivaldi.com/">
   Vivaldi
  </a>
  is a free, open source browser. Designed with the needs of advanced web users in mind, it is almost completely customizable. Jon von Tetzchner wanted to pick up where the Opera browser left off, and has built a "company for the future" to achieve that goal. A friend of mine works at Vivaldi, and her experience echoes the idealism of Jon's philosophy. Speaking to Jon was a tech-nerd's dream. (I'm only a quasi-tech-nerd, myself, but I was still psyched about it.)
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <strong>
   Jeanette Dyhre Kvisvik
  </strong>
  <strong>
   of VILLOID
  </strong>
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <a href="https://www.villoid.com/">
   VILLOID
  </a>
  is a social style app co-founded by fashion icon Alexa Chung. In the vein of Instagram or Pinterest, VILLOID lets users share their style by creating and following mood boards. It then empowers users to buy what they see and love directly via a buy button. Jeanette's path to this success--and humility and poise in the face of it--made me eager to try VILLOID. Especially when she hinted at what's to come.
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <strong>
   Anita Schjøll Brede of Iris AI
  </strong>
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <a href="https://iris.ai/">
   Iris AI
  </a>
  is an artificial intelligence platform designed to read and analyze the abstracts of millions of research papers. The goal is to find crucial connections between existing research that will help to solve the biggest issues of our time, from cancer to global climate change. More than anyone else, meeting Anita reminded me how exciting it can be to meet someone who's brain works differently from your own. She was warm and forthcoming about her time at Singularity University, a place I'd never heard of, but am now extremely grateful to know exists.
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <strong>
   Isabelle Ringnes of TENK
  </strong>
  (Tech Network for Women in Norway)
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <a href="https://tenk-norge.com/">
   TENK
  </a>
  is a non-profit organization aimed at encouraging more women to pursue education and careers in the tech industry. Founded by two "technology-loving non-technologists," TENK supports and promotes women in tech in Norway through presentations, campaigns and events like Girl Tech Fest at Oslo Innovation Week. Isabelle and I share a passion for getting more women involved in tech on all sides, but her efforts are far more professional, organized and inspiring.
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  I also authored the City Essentials and the section on Programs--accelerators and incubators--in town. If you're thinking about starting a business in Oslo,
  <a href="http://startupeverywhere.com/index.php/product/oslo/">
   please order a copy from the Startup Everywhere website
  </a>
  . I hope you'll find it a useful resource!
  <br>
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  And this November, look up for Startup Everywhere's exciting new app: Startup Guide Maps. Meeting a critical need for European entrepreneurs, the app will make finding the essential resources for your idea and company easy wherever you land. It will feature ''all the co-working spaces, incubators, accelerators and cafés with wifi" in the cities they've profiled so far, and more than a dozen new cities are in the queue for 2017!
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  Here are a few photos from last week's book launch party at MESH Norway for Oslo Innovation Week 2016:
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <img alt="14589795_1815918318649284_7039425482776309337_o.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/14589795_1815918318649284_7039425482776309337_o-thumb-600x400-3990.jpg" width="600">
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <img alt="14711432_1815918028649313_4855049734235485476_o.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/14711432_1815918028649313_4855049734235485476_o-thumb-600x400-3993.jpg" width="600">
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <img alt="14681078_1815917921982657_3080834089358299889_o.jpg" height="198" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/14681078_1815917921982657_3080834089358299889_o-thumb-298x198-3996.jpg" width="298">
  <img alt="14711144_1815919681982481_2739677529660311075_o.jpg" height="198" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/14711144_1815919681982481_2739677529660311075_o-thumb-298x198-3999.jpg" width="298">
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  <img alt="14570786_1815919958649120_5302478985788453914_o.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/14570786_1815919958649120_5302478985788453914_o-thumb-600x400-4002.jpg" width="600">
 </p>
 <p dir="ltr">
  Clockwise: Me, Thomas Nymark Horsted (Startup Everywhere Co-Founder), Sissel Hansen (Startup Everywhere Founder), Kriszti Toth (MESH Norway Co-Founder)
 </p>
<p></p></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Camping again: Baby on board - Part II (Destination & Gear)]]></title><description><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 Having done all the plausibly
 <a href="http://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/08/camping-again-baby-on-board.html">
  necessary prep
 </a>
 , Jonathan and I set out for our first backpacking/camping trip with our 15-month-old daughter on a sunny Saturday in July.
</p>
<p>
 <img alt="DSC06812.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06812-thumb-600x400-3958.jpg" width="600">
</p>
<p>
 Our destination was a little lake called
 <a href="https://goo.gl/maps/mmgYyBByMC12">
  Skjennungen
 </a>
 , approximately 5km from Frognerseteren (depending on the trail you choose), at the end of</p></div>]]></description><link>https://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/08/05/camping-again-baby-on-board---/</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5b4b93744a9f5500091af8f6</guid><category><![CDATA[Daily Expat Life]]></category><category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category><category><![CDATA[Norway]]></category><category><![CDATA[Oslo]]></category><category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category><category><![CDATA[Scandinavia]]></category><category><![CDATA[Shutterbug (Photos)]]></category><category><![CDATA[Summer Stuff]]></category><category><![CDATA[The Oslo Weekender]]></category><category><![CDATA[Travelogue]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[Audrey Camp]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 05 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="kg-card-markdown"><p>
 Having done all the plausibly
 <a href="http://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/08/camping-again-baby-on-board.html">
  necessary prep
 </a>
 , Jonathan and I set out for our first backpacking/camping trip with our 15-month-old daughter on a sunny Saturday in July.
</p>
<p>
 <img alt="DSC06812.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06812-thumb-600x400-3958.jpg" width="600">
</p>
<p>
 Our destination was a little lake called
 <a href="https://goo.gl/maps/mmgYyBByMC12">
  Skjennungen
 </a>
 , approximately 5km from Frognerseteren (depending on the trail you choose), at the end of the 1 Tbane line. We've camped there sans baby twice before. It's close to
 <a href="http://www.skjennungstua.no/">
  Skjennungstua
 </a>
 , an unmanned hytte on top of a hill, which gave me some comfort in the event of a freak thunderstorm or baby-related emergency. There are also trashcans near the hytte, which meant we could unload some waste weight before the longer hike home on Sunday. Our route took us out by way of
 <a href="http://www.ullevalseter.no/">
  Ullevålseter
 </a>
 , a manned hytte, where we planned to stop for a coffee break. Total distance over two days was only about 12 km (7.5 miles). Click to enlarge the map below.
</p>
<p>
 <img alt="skjennunen.png" height="188" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/skjennunen-thumb-200x188-3972.png" width="200">
</p>
<p>
 We left after naptime on Saturday. The metro ride took about 40 minutes, and we disembarked at Frognerseteren at 3:45pm. The ability to start summer activities late in the day like this is one of the many things we love about Norway. Sunset in Oslo that Saturday wasn't until after 10pm.
</p>
<ul>
 <li>
  In
  <strong>
   Jonathan's pack (32 pounds)
  </strong>
  : tent, sleeping bags, sleeping pads, warm clothes for the kid, extra socks for all, books for all, food for one breakfast, one lunch, and one dinner, a backpacking cook stove and pot, plastic cups and sporks, water pump and filter, camera, and extra backpacking-related stuff (small lantern, waterproof matches, knife, etc.).
 </li>
 <li>
  In
  <strong>
   my pack (40 pounds)
  </strong>
  : a 15-month-old Cheeks McGee, water for all, first aid kit, trail snacks, diapers and wipes and waste bags, the kid's favorite stuffed animal.
 </li>
</ul>
<p>
 Over the next two hours, we tramped along dry, well-marked trails, taking time to point out different types of trees, birds, and flowers to the enraptured baby girl. She got to see butterflies in motion, which garnered major giggles. She ate blueberries. She tried to get a good look at an itty bitty frog that her mama couldn't quite catch from within a patch of grass. She picked up stones and traced her fingers through the dirt in the trail. She tried to sing along to various hiking songs. Happy Trails, Row Your Boat, etc. But mostly she sat quietly with a fresh breeze in her hair as her parents talked about interesting things. McGee was a backpack champ. After a couple of breaks, she even voluntarily returned to the pack and attempted to saddle up herself. We will be buying our own
 <a href="http://www.deuter.com/US/us/kid-carrier/kid-comfort-3-46534-125.html">
  Deuter Kid Comfort 3
 </a>
 soon!
</p>
<p>
 <img alt="DSC06854.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06854-thumb-600x400-3961.jpg" width="600">
</p>
<p>
 Arriving at Skjennungen just after 5:30pm, we decided to eat dinner before setting up camp. (One thing about having a baby--even an easy-going one--with you... there's less flexibility when it comes to the timing of meals.) A couple of campsites closest to the trail were already taken up by tents, but one less accessible site, on the opposite side of the lake was open. After boiling water on the stove, I sat at a picnic table and fed the kid, while Jonathan hurried to stake our claim.
</p>
<p>
 </p><p>
  <img alt="DSC06876.jpg" height="479" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06876-thumb-320x479-3952.jpg" width="320">
 </p>
 <p>
  A smart move. Previously, we'd found spots in the heavily wooded area around the lake that worked for us, but this lake spot had plenty of flat, open spaces for the tent, as well as easy access to water, large boulders for sitting and stable food prep, and an idyllic view.
 </p>
 <p>
  Tent up, pads down, bags in. The
  <a href="http://www.cascadedesigns.com/msr/tents/backpacking-tents/mutha-hubba-nx/product">
   MSR Mutha Hubba
  </a>
  is an excellent family tent. Plenty of horizontal room for three sleepers. (Extra, of course, when you've only got two and a half.) Plenty of vertical room for sitting up to read or chat. Airy without the rainfly on, but we weren't taking any chances, so we put up the rainfly and dealt with the tent being a little warm for a while.
 </p>
 <p>
  The toughest part was getting the babe to sleep.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  Quick explanation about what we call "normal" sleep at home:
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  McGee has been a solid 7-to-7, no-waking sleeper since she was 5-months old. Bedtime at home starts with a regimented routine including dinner, bottle, bath, story, and a quick lullaby. No tears. Most nights she actually points to her crib mid-lullaby to move things along. I leave the room while she's still awake and don't hear from her again until 7am. I know. Insane. And awesome. We sleep-trained. That's a whole other story. The thing is, I wasn't sure how any of this would translate to sleeping in a tent with her mom and dad. We never co-slept, so this is a totally foreign thing for all of us.
 </p>
 <p>
  We attempted some semblance of her usual routine around 8pm, and I intended to stay in the tent to help her fall asleep. This totally threw her off, and she stared at me quietly for almost 10 minutes while I sang and pretended to sleep next to her. Then she got up and started crawling around the tent. I tried putting her back down and leaving the tent. Jonathan and I watched the sun setting over the mountains across the lake while listening to the babe rustle the sleeping bags. This also lasted about 10 minutes before she started to cry. Next we both tried getting in and reading beside her. She was obviously tired, but totally confused, and began doing laps around the tent, rolling around at different points trying to get comfortable. We let her have a book, too, and read it to her a few times hoping she'd fall asleep that way. No dice.
  <br>
 </p>
 <p>
  It took me more than an hour to consider that a little containment might help, since she's used to sleeping in a crib, not a big, open tent. She protested for a minute or so after I snuggled her up between Jonathan and me and restricted her movements to that space, but then relaxed. Another ten minutes of lullaby-time later, she was fast asleep. By then it was almost 11pm, a full 4 hours later than she usually goes to bed. I was able to leave the tent to go to the bathroom without waking her; Jonathan and I even talked for a while inside the tent. She stayed asleep with a couple of exceptions--brief wakings at midnight and 4am which included her sitting up, saying, "Dada!" with surprise and enthusiasm, then flopping over and falling deep asleep again--until 7am. Unbelievable.
 </p>
 <p>
  <img alt="13701018_10157200310075603_4727212864313606282_o.jpg" height="200" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/13701018_10157200310075603_4727212864313606282_o-thumb-200x200-3968.jpg" width="200">
  Here I'll mention that, for a sleeping bag, we used
  <a href="http://www.vertbaudet.co.uk/baby-sleep-bag-with-detachable-sleeves-tog-2-white-light-solid-with-design.htm?ProductId=702290251&amp;FiltreCouleur=6350&amp;t=13">
   a thick Vertbaudet sleepsack with attachable sleeves
  </a>
  . She always uses a sleepsack at home, so this didn't require any adjustment. Though the tent was warm when we went to bed, the night was chilly, so I had bundled her up, including a lightweight, wool balaclava-style hat, the one that makes her look like Baby Joan of Arc. Her hands were still cold to the touch throughout the night, making Jonathan and I wonder if we should try bringing mittens along next time, but overall, she was perfectly comfortable temperature-wise. Had we known that, no matter how long it took, once asleep, McGee would then sleep through the night, I think both Jonathan and I would have slept better, too. As it was, we were both on high-alert the whole time. We woke at the slightest shift of anyone else in the tent. When we did doze off, we were restless. It didn't help that the rest of our camping gear is more than a decade old and well-loved, so one sleeping pad had sprung a leak, among other minor inconveniences. Still, we managed a few hours of shut-eye.
 </p>
 <p>
  <img alt="DSC06883.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06883-thumb-600x400-3965.jpg" width="600">
 </p>
 <p>
  Dawn came, and we woke to a pristine mountain lake, a clear sky, and our daughter asleep between us in the tent. She lay on her stomach on the sleeping pad, cheek pressed flat, lips like a pink bloom in the morning light. That magic alone was enough to make the whole trip worth it. The fact that she woke with a huge smile, elated to find herself still in a tent with both her favorite people, was gravy.
 </p>
 <p>
  <img alt="DSC06885.jpg" height="200" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06885-thumb-300x200-3975.jpg" width="300">
  <img alt="DSC06799.jpg" height="200" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06799-thumb-300x200-3978.jpg" width="300">
  <img alt="DSC06922.jpg" height="200" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06922-thumb-300x200-3981.jpg" width="300">
  <img alt="DSC06940.jpg" height="200" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06940-thumb-300x200-3984.jpg" width="300">
 </p>
 <p>
  We took our time getting ready to go, and the process reminded us very much of the old camping trips we took pre-parenthood. Jonathan boiled water for coffee, tea
  <em>
   and
  </em>
  the baby's grøt. We sat on a large boulder, barefoot, gazing out at the glassy lake and mused about the difference between crows and jackdaws, and the baby babbled in agreement. We ate cold Pop-Tarts (a splurge here in Norway, but it reminds us of home) while the baby drank a boxed juice. Then we packed up the campsite--leaving it cleaner than we found it--and prepared to go. Here, the McGee surprised her parents by figuring out the Camelbak to quench her own thirst.
 </p>
 <p>
  The hike to Ullevålseter was a breeze. It's a straightforward trip we recommend to all our friends in Oslo. There's nothing more uniquely Norsk than stopping at a hytte mid-hike for coffee and waffles with brown cheese. There's also a white pony who lives on the property, and that gave the McGee yet another new animal encounter!
 </p>
 <p>
  Headed down to Sognsvann on the final push, the babe surprised us again by taking a 40-minute nap in the backpack! Afraid to stop, lest the lack of motion wake her, we did the last 5 km with no breaks. She opened her eyes as we reached the end of the lake and found a picnic table for lunch. We tossed our stale sandwich crusts to the ducks and hurried to catch the 3 Tbane home.
 </p>
 <p>
  <img alt="DSC06954.jpg" height="400" src="https://static.thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/images/migrated/DSC06954-thumb-600x400-3987.jpg" width="600">
 </p>
 <p>
  I will be writing a third installment in this series on our personal takeaways. We learned a lot, and we're already planning a second trip. If you've got specific questions about the experience or the ins and outs of getting into the Oslomarka from town, please leave a comment. Thanks!
 </p>
 <p>
  See also:
  <a href="http://thegirlbehindthereddoor.com/2016/08/camping-again-baby-on-board.html">
   Camping agin; Baby on board - Part I (Prep)
  </a>
 </p>
<p></p></div>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>