Do you wake up, gaze out your window into the cold pre-dawn, and think, Bummer. Not Christmas yet. Just another ho-hum December day ? If so, I've got a remedy!

Observe the season of Advent with a calendar crafted to help you count down the mundane days of this long, dark month until you reach Christmas! What better way to celebrate Advent--to build up the anticipation of Christ's humble birth in a manger--than with twenty-four mornings of candy, gifts, and other commercialized paraphernalia?

No, really. It works great. I create an Advent Calendar for Jonathan each year. Always with a theme. In the past, I've opened his days with 24 Things I Love About You, 24 Disneyland Memories, 24 Photos of Us Around the World. That kind of thing. This year, I decided to do 24 Christmas Jokes ! And the jokes I found were so funny, I just had to share them here for you, too. (And by "so funny", I mean that every one of these jokes must be followed by a nudge-nudge... do ya get it? Do ya? )

#1 What is red, white and blue at Christmas time?

A sad candy cane.

#2 What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?


#3 Why did Santa call in a workplace psychologist?

Because his workers were suffering from low elf -esteem.

#4 What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Cookie sheets.

#5 What does Santa say when he walks backward?

Oh, oh, oh...

#6 What do fish sing at Christmas time?

Christmas corals .

#7 What is green, white and red all over?

An elf with a sunburn.

#8 Why does the Christmas alphabet have only 25 letters?

Because there's noël .

#9 Where does Old St. Nick keep his money?

In a snow bank. (Obviously.)

#10 Why was the squirrel mad at Santa?

'Cuz he got nuttin' for Christmas.

#11 What is a snoman's favorite Mexican food?

Brrrrrrrr -itos!

#12 What do you call an igloo without a toilet?

An ig. (Wait for it. Makes more sense if you're in a British frame of mind.)

That's the first twelve. We're halfway through Advent. We made it! Only 12 more days 'til Happy Big Present and Morning Candy Day!

(And for my Scandinavian friends, Happy St. Lucia Day, too.)