Riddle you this:

Aside from Jonathan I have one other true love. Sweet and attractive, my second love is a contradictory one. I can't spend much time with it, though I want to badly, without being regretful later on... once its gone. The moments we have together are precious, and I try to stretch each second out as long as possible. Each little bit of itself is precious to me. When we're apart, reminders of it are everywhere. My love is fickle, allowing everyone to love it as I do and never pledging faithfulness to anyone single one of us. And it affects us all the same.

I bring it to my lips in delectable anticipation, all memories of our past flirtations swirl to the forefront. It is smooth and soft to the touch, perfect in the palm of my trembling hand. How I desire it! Beneath the cellophane it calls to me. "Oh, my darling Audrey! Come, take me away from this place!"

The second I think I'm finished with our time together, for it is gone and I am satisfied, I see it again. A new one. I long for its unassuming luxury.

(I apologize to all who have already guessed it, but my husband is sitting next to me guessing everything under the sun and I don't plan to stop until he figures this out. I thought he knew me! But here is what I'm hearing: "Is it biscuits? DVDs? No no no... FRIENDS. You already did one on Diet Coke. Carmex? Your cell phone? That IS your other true love." God help me. He just guessed "jelly bellies".)

My other true love is terrible for me, my heart and my weight. When I cannot see it, cannot hold it close to me, I feel empty and sad. Sometimes a girl just needs her fix, you know? It becomes an obsession. An outlet for pain in times of trial. A reward for reaching my goals. But Jonathan is jealous of my love. He sees how much it actually hurts me after each individual fling I have with it. And thus he takes it away, snatching it from my hand when I grasp it in the aisle in the local 7-Eleven!

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(Okay, he got it. Finally!)

Yes, Hostess Cupcakes, my weakness. I adore them. So deliciously cheap! So divinely common! Just can't help myself.