Defining Fun

Do Jon and I fight? Argue? Bicker? Pester each other? Certainly. But truth be told, it doesn't happen that often. Most of the time we can sidestep potential problems by finding the humor in the given situation, laughing at ourselves. Honestly, all Jon has to do is hug me in the middle of a fight and... the bell sounds, the match is over. Nobody wins and, thus, everybody wins.

This may seem like a fairly odd, even depressing way to start an entry. My point is simply that what Jon and I ended up doing last night happened as a direct result of what could have been a big, fat argument the night before.

I had finished an unusually long day at school on Thursday. Ugh. And recently the fatigue of going to school and working and being a wife has been wearing on me. Jon doesn't have it any easier. While he may not be going to school, dealing with me is a major lesson in patience and maturity every single day. (The frequent pop quizzes don't help much, either!)

So, at the end of that day, I wanted to do something "fun". And that's how I posed the idea to my husband. "Jonathan, let's go do something fun." He said, "Okay, like what?" I, very unreasonably, didn't want to have to actually think of what would be fun for us to do. That was his job, at least in my head. So I said, "I don't know. What do you want to do?" And he responded, "How about going bowling."

At this point I really should reiterate that I was very, very tired.

You see, Jon's response had begun the countdown. He'd lit the fuse and now it was only a matter of time before we exploded. Here anyone can see our amazing progress as a couple. Instead of freaking out and turning this one into the World War XXXII(because I think that's the one we're on now), I decided to be funny.

"Darling angel, love of my life," I began, "You are especially lucky that I am such a very cool wife. Other wives who heard their husbands give them Granada Bowl as the only fun thing to do together would be oh-so-very angry. But I am not like that. I am going to give you another shot at choosing something which I, a youthful, sexy, intriguing gal like me would find to be fun."

The rest of this human comedy shall be left to play offstage. Let it simply be said that the situation was resolved peacefully, and we found ourselves once again moving along towards happily ever after.

Yesterday then, I enjoyed my first full day off of everything in quite a while. And I definitely wasn't expecting a drastic change in Jon's definition of fun. We had lunch together with the Youds and couple of Jon's friends from work. I spent the rest of the day hanging out with Jen Youd at her house, "helping" her organize her scrapbooking materials, etc. I relaxed. After dinner I suffered a devastating loss at Hearts to both Youds (something which will not happen again as I have resolved to kick my "delightful competitiveness" into a higher, scarier gear). But the evening had only just begun.

Jonathan had a surprise up his sleeve. We got all dressed up, cocktail dress, high heels, big hair, the works. At 9pm we left for San Francisco. But that is all Jon would tell me about our destination. Oh, except that it would be "fun".

Where did we end up? A chic "talking bar" called the Levende Lounge . Very cool. Even cooler once God blessed us with a free and convenient parking spot! We even got to skip the whole velvet rope, standing in line routine because we had a reservation at 10pm. The inside of this place was very snazzy. Deep red walls, soft brown leather furniture, amber lighting and lots of candles. A darkly-clad DJ offered up pulsing electronica into the dim yet vibrant atmosphere.

Together we resolved to try something new. I ordered a strawberry vodka martini called "La Fresca". Hands down the best I've ever had. Sweet, warming the back of my throat. A wonderful complement to the grilled bread and assorted sausage platter we chose later on. With the chef's compliments we also got to try a slice of melba toast with real goat cheese and a dab of onion jelly. Delicious!

In the dark my husband and I got the chance to talk. Sounds like something we do every day. But no. It was a date like the ones we had when we were first together. When we were discovering every tiny little precious thing about one another.

I've heard some people mourn the fact that the dating period of their relationship is over. That they already know everything about the person they love. So far I cannot agree with that. I believe that I know Jon better than anyone else in this world. Also that the opposite is true. Yet every day we bind closer by continuing to discuss that which we already know. Until we have stopped growing and changing our minds as individuals, there won't be an opportunity to run out of things to learn together.

Our conversations from last night varied widely from our plans for the summer to religion to music... to how much alcohol it will take for me to get Jon out on the dance floor with me when we visit Vegas in July. (A good tidbit of info I didn't have until last night, I might add.) But the bottom line is that we finally found some common ground in our quest for the definition of "fun".